The trauma I’ve endured is finally catching up to me, it’s happened so many times, it hurts so bad to not talk to anyone about it, the one person I do talk to about it plays it off as something funny. Which is fair because I always talk about it as a joke. But it hurts cause it feels like she doesn’t care that much and I know she doesn’t, she’s told she doesn’t. But I love her (not romantically) I’ve had so many sexual assault experiences (as a guy) and I know I’ve taken it better than most but I’m broken now. I just want my best friend to be less selfish. I want her to care. She’s all I got and if I can’t have her I don’t feel as if there’s any point in life. I can’t live like this anymore it’s a constant circle of hatred and jealousy and depression. I’m not going to kill myself but I just wish I was better.