Rant #2347

I have a lot of mental disorders which are adhd, depression, anxiety in general, half of my ptsd, sociopath behavior which my own biological mother gave me she tried to kill me and put a knife to my neck and said if I wanted to die so bad she help and my step dad gave me schizophrenia and the other of my ptsd and watched at me when I slept and raped me more twice and my mom knew and didn't care and touched my privates while changing me he changed me into small clothes I was 5 (small shorts which if I moved in a certain way, he'll see my privates and he knew I didn't sit correctly), and my biological dad my own dad hated me and doesn't want me he and my mom was fighting he wanted to rub cause while I was a baby and hit my head on the car door. I'm a teenager, my sociopath and my schizophrenia behavior is still confusing I don't know if I should hate it or like it, it's like my only escape it protects me, I know it's bad, it makes me hate myself. I live with my grandma it still hurts me.