Rant #2325

I genuinely want to die. I feel like everyone is drifting away, what am I doing wrong? I keep getting ghosted, and my best friend seems to laugh more at random people than me. He has other friends, more important people to hangout with. I can't demand attention, I don't want to tell him I've been thinking about suicide and SH, I don't want to hurt him. I don't know if I'll make it to 21 anymore. I'm useless, I never help out around my house and I have no excuse. It just feels like everything would be better without me. I'll never be able to transition nor see my sister get married....I'm just so tired.