Why can't I find love like that one relationship? Nothing the same. You always when I was sad, when I was off. Now every time I talk to my partner I get sexualized, I always want to go and talk to you but then I remember, I'm not your problem anymore. You cared so much for me like no one else did, you always found strength in me when I didn't. I loved you too little, everything was my fault. The end of our relationship was my fault. I find every little thing that describes you. When I hear your name my eyes grow. When someone asks "Did you date ___" my eyes grow apart, not knowing what to say. Then I remember "did", we are just the past right? But somehow I still can't move on. You promised to stay with me, but you left and my worst, it was the first day of the year. I had finally thought this would be my year, but maybe not. I know you forgive me, but I don't forgive myself. I hope you have the best relationship.