Rant #2280

I know I have everything everyone would wish they had: a nice home, a great family, good grades. But I'm so exhausted. I'm so tired of having to act like a goody lil 2 shoes in order satisfy the voices in my head. And the worst part is no matter how good I am, I'm never good enough. The truth is I hate myself, and I will never love myself ever, simply because realistically it's impossible. It's impossible to love yourself when you're not good enough, when you're so obsessed with the idea of being smart, strong, independent, fun and overall *perfect*. It's worse when every single thing that helps me cope is immediately becoming the thing that breaks me apart even more. I hate how sensitive I am and how sensitive the world is, I just wanna have fun, and to not care about how ppl would look at me when they see stuff that aren't even their business. I wanna keep living in a fantasy where I'm someone else, someone stronger, maybe even meaner. The only way I can see it happen is dying.