Rant #2264

I don't know who I am and it feels like no one actually cares about me. I wish I could make genuine connections that last. I hold no value in a conversation other than being quiet, overly people pleasing, and "nice". I feel bad for people who show interest in me because I know that once they get to know me they'll find out I'm a hollow shell. People eventually forget about me and I'm left feeling lonely and miserable. I want to be spontaneous and be myself, and I want to be liked enough to be missed, but its hard to do that when you don't have a sense of self and lack personality. I hate how I talk, I hate how I think, I hate myself.