Rant #2232

I only have one friend and no job or car. I had one friend in high school but she stopped talking to me when she got a boyfriend. My only friend has a job so she’s busy all the time, and I understand that my problems are not her responsibility. I’m trying to get on SSI so I can at least have some sort of income because I can’t work full time (Anxiety, Depression, fainting, chronic pain, migraines) It’s been an agonizing year, and I just don’t know what to do. I’m scared I’ll end up alone my whole life, and/or ruin anything good I do. I can’t even afford to go to a community college! I can’t do it online and I don’t have a car to drive! I used to enjoy making art but I’m too depressed and angry/hatefull with myself to even do anything. I feel like my mom doesn’t even love me, my dad never bothered with me my whole life. I love my grandma but there’s only so many times I can hear her talk about the same thing over and over. I’m only 21, I just wish I didn’t have all these problems.