Rant #2217

I feel disgusting. I’m having a hard time even thinking about how I can move on from this situation, it feels like I can’t. The thing is; it’s all my fault. I was the idiot looking for someone to talk to on the internet. And like the fucking dumbass I am I ended up getting groomed by a man. The things he would tell me to do on the phone….,,, they keep playing in my head. I can’t escape it. I feel like I have no one to talk to. I feel horrible. And the thing is? I’m still in contact with him. He hasn’t responded to my texts for about two weeks so I feel like he probably deleted the app because guilt, or something else entirely. I miss him. I hate him but I miss him so much. The relationship between us was inappropriate, but that’s what gave me a rush of excitement. Isn’t that sick? I was 16 and he was 25. I could’ve done anything else, but I just HAD to talk to this guy. I’m so dumb. I’m scared too. I’m scared that he recorded our conversations on the phone. I have no one.