Rant #2140

Honestly, I hate the thought of having a relationship. Even if it's platonic, every time I remember we all die. The thought kills me, I'm scared of losing my dad. He's almost 50 and slowly decaying in my eyes. He comes home hurt all the time, he's honestly the only person I find bearable. I hate being this vulnerable, it's so stupid.i was watching this show and a character was speaking about her dad and his she couldn't be reminded of him without being hurt. I gel like that too and for the first time when I thought of a loved one dying I cried. I didn't worry about what will happen with money or what I will get from it. I was crying because of the thought of losing someone who in my opinion is on the same level as money. I guess that's why I love money, it never dies, it'll never hurt and it'll love me. I am like an asshole but just hate attachment because no matter what loving and caring for someone is my weakness.