Rant #2090

I’m so in love with my ex boy bestfriend and I genuinely don’t know what to do. I’ve never had a boyfriend and recently we started to have more of friendship, if you can even call it that, (talking sexually/intimately over the phone) but the BIG problem is is that he has a gf. We aren’t really close but bc we started playing tennis together we started to get close. I want to leave the guy alone but I don’t know what it is inside of me that’s making me go back with him and repeat all these things to each other. We also use to like each other when we little. Idk I hate myself for it and I feel so guilty and I’m praying to God that he’ll take away this devilish temptation.