Rant #2080

it feels like every day had passed by the same. I've always hated myself and there isn't a moment i haven't. I've always seemed to care for people and be a compassionate being but that feels like a plastic tree. There isn't a grudge for others but myself because I can only see my own image, the back of the stage, the scenes behind the act. Those who have seen the footage leaked through reality have been vocal about it and I can't deny the truth. I'm stuck with this fucking image and the mirrors around that remind me of who I actually am. And because I'm used to hating myself I've grown to believe in nothing, I've grown to be nothing, I've grown to know that I'm a lie, that alone already made me run down my system, I've already grown to feel nothing. Then I'm here right now typing this in bed. As the days pass I can't look at the mirror without frowning, followed by the stare before entering the bathroom only to feel if I'll ever get out alive or ... Some other fate.