Rant #2044

Here is the long awaited part 2 of this. Throughout my life I have tried learning many things, but I cannot really say I am good at one exact thing, ever since AI became mainstream I have "larped" everything in life. This includes computer science knowledge, and even school subjects. I wish that I could learn something myself but in the end it has not worked out. My future plans were to go to ROTC in college and go into the US Air Force, however at this point in life I do not know what I can achieve. I wish I could just be homeschooled and be a shut in for the rest of my life, but I know I need to do something productive. I am so close to going home from school today and venting everything to my parents even though my dad only partially listens. I got evaluated to go to a mental hospital once and I had to lie saying I just wanted to kill myself to "skip school" to the doctor doing the evaluation. I am a failure hiding behind false success.