Rant #2012

My dad verbally, emotionally, and physically abused me throughout my childhood up until i was like 13 maybe 14. The worst of it was around age 12 where i started to lose love for him. After a suicide attempt at 14 amd hospitalization for anorexia, he actually tried to change and im 15 right now and so far he has been consistent with it and i know people say like "abusers never change" but i dont think he relized that what he was doing was really abuse. I actually think he changed. When i was little he wasnt as bad because i kind of followed everything he told me and i think i actually loved him. he never went to anger management therapy or anything so i really don't know how he pulled it off but he is a really good dad now. however i still get flashbacks to when he did do bad things to me and i just cant bring myself to forgive him. he is 100% trying his best and he is doing great but i really really want to