When I was around 8 years old my mum left and my dad was emotionally unavailable and not involved in my life for any reasons other than paying for essentials. 5 years ago a girl came into my life that taught me what love was and it was so overwhelming me to me. I couldn’t tell her that I loved her for months because it was too much for me to say. || She killed herself around a year after dating and I hated myself so much, for two years I treated myself below everyone and everything and cut myself everyday to punish myself. Ive gotten drunk really drunk tonight and can’t stop thinking of her and starting to hate myself for failing the one person who taught me what love was. I’ll prob regret saying all of this in the morning but I feel like I have to say it. || There’s a lot more I can say but just wanna let you all know that no matter what happens in life, I promise things will get better and you matter to someone or make a difference in someones life no matter what you think