Rant #1954

I am so numb and withdrawn. I have a seven year old and I’m not currently working. I don’t have any friends at the moment and every conversation I have feels so surface-level. I feel isolated due to my circumstances and I’m weighed down by grief of family conflict and not having any support or outside outlet to dump some of my problems onto, so they just stay harbored within. I’m so fucking sad. I know I’m impactful to my child, but some days, it doesn’t even feel that way either. I feel like my smugness shows on my face around people and I feel exposed, like they can see directly into my core and sense what lingers there…. All the unresolved trauma. I’m just longing for true, in depth conversation to keep me afloat. I need a fucking friend. I feel like even one person who makes me feel seen/heard would make a world of a difference. Times are hard.