Rant #1922

I’ve already excepted that she used me, my home, my food, my drugs, my alchohol. I finally quit drinking and now I keep relapsing. I will never be able to except that I won’t know what was real, if she ment what she said at least once if she was really attracted or disgusted by me. I never had anyone else that felt the same, that felt so real yet it wasn’t, she lied to other guys abt me to get them to fuck her. I just wish I knew there was any moment any conversation any time staring eye to eye that it ment something not just to me but to her