i hate that i know i use to be horrible person well in terms i still am i just hide it better now i know that no matter what i try and say or how much i try and make up for it ill always have the guilt of what i’ve said to people and i know i only said it because i was either hurting or they wouldn’t leave me alone which still isn’t a valid excuse to what i’ve said i just wish that i was normal and i didn’t feel like this all the time i constantly fantasize about kms infront of everyone wether it’s at school or the store or even at home just so people won’t forget me i have a constant fear of being forgotten after i die because i wasn’t good enough to be remembered i’ve always wished to be something big like an actor or famous of some sort just so i can be remembered when i die i hate that i know all ill ever be is forgotten after i die