Rant #1894

I asked google why I'm not happy with others. It said I have anxiety or depression Oh my god, I'm such a terrible person. Why am I like this? Why must I exist in 3d? I belong to no body, I am a soul and I am searching for myself. I am no soul. I have no soul. I have a body but no soul. There is nothing inside of me. It is simply dark. There are no stars in my heart and there are no planets in my head. I can’t listen to her be happy. I am so horrible. I have put my headphones on to drown out her joy. I should honestly not exist anymore if this is who I am when I am not performing. She's singing, she can't sing, I'm the singer, I'm full of rage and jealousy. Help. help. Help. I can't do anything and it's so terrible. I can't scream or cry or yell or talk because someone is always listening, talking, telling, hearing, judging. I'm so afraid. I want to run away from home. I have nothing to my name. I’m so privileged. I’m so selfish for thinking that. I’ll run away when I grow up.