Rant #1893

Why can I not feel joy for other people? I think I'm a moderately good person, people tell me I’m kind. Why can’t I feel happy for other people? I don't understand. All I feel is jealousy. I can't do anything at all. I'm just upset. Why can't I do the same thing that other people do? I don't understand why I'm like this. Who even am I? Am I performing for other people? I know that I am. I perform for my family and friends and teachers and everybody I've ever met. I think I perform for myself too. Why am I like this? People say to just be yourself, but who even is that? I don't know anything about me. I don’t know who I am. Who am I? Who am I? My sister is part of the crew in her school musical. That's my thing. The only thing I know about myself is that I enjoy theatre. She's taking my only true thing from me, and I'm being dramatic about it. It's not that big a deal that she wants to do it. It isn't. It's good she enjoys it. She needs a hobby. but that's my hobby.