Rant #1816

I'd been sexually abused by everyone in the house yet somehow, I don't feel anything. I feel like I keep reliving the trauma yet somehow I don't really know. I know to myself that what I'm feeling is valid yet somehow I feel like it's not. Because of them, I became hypersexual and I honestly don't like it. But on the contrary, I don't feel sexually aroused by men. Neither women, it's just pure admiration, yet somewhere somehow, I don't I feel like I lost myself in the process. I want to be gone yet I can't because I have a brother, I can't live him to a father who is a rapist and abusive. When in the beginning I am the only who he can rely on, we are young when we lost our mother's and other sisters.