i'm now just realizing, as i slowly get older, how difficult it is to form genuine friendships with people i actually vibe with and share the same opinions about the things i value outside of school. on top of that, i've moved countries, miles and miles away from my best friends from day one, who seem like they're drifting little by little away from me. but i try not to think about that part too much. the last time i've felt this alone was when i was in 6th grade, completely engulfed with the kind of sadness a 6th grader probably shouldn't be experiencing. looking back at it now, i was a sad kid. i kind of want to cry right now as i'm typing this, but i know it will make me spiral, so maybe not tonight. but i really, really, really want genuine friends. i really wish i wasn't so lonely and alone in this new country. i really wish i wasn't away from my people.