I hope my mother doesn't arrive home. I keep praying for her death. I don't know if this makes me a bad child. But it is either her death or my suicide. I am too young to kill myself. With each day passing it just gets worse. I keep forgetting the fact that I do not matter in anyone's life. The worst part is that I have no one. No one to talk about this. I can't call anyone. They don't help. Not when she has done nothing psychical. They won't believe me. They'll say I am sick. And I am starting to believe that. She keeps calling me useless. Keeps guilt tripping me. And she also keep harassing me. Touching my inappropriate places knowing damn well I don't like it. Then yells at me for not wanting it. She keeps telling me to end myself. Telling me I am nothing but a piece of shit. I'm starting to believe that. I don't want to kill myself. But it seems like that's the only choice I get to get away from her. I can't runaway. I can't live on my own. I don't know what to do. I'm confused.