4/17/2026 Feeling the same dull, empty dread as usual. The mere thought of having to sit there, concentrate, and work on the same thing I'm not at all interested in for hours is scaring me, all while knowing that, because of how long it took me, there will forever be more work to do after I take sometimes up to several weeks to finish one assignment, grieving and mourning all of my now lost and pointlessly wasted time by wasting even more time stalling and procrastinating, pathetically and fruitlessly chasing a non-existent peace and trying to avoid what's troubling me. But the whole time, I'm doing even more work in my head trying to ignore the fact that I'm fully aware that me just watching TV and trying to relax or whatever is just a vain, empty distraction that fails at its sole purpose to distract me, rather just reminding me of what nothing I've done, and that my fate of more useless work and lost life-time is coming, that I am slowly growing older. Remy/Isabella (she/they)