Everyone said it would get better as I got older, I’m 21. This has been going on for 10 years. I’ve been cutting for 9. While the times are less frequent the amount I do and how deep is the problem. I am so tired. I can’t afford therapy. The dude who raped me 2 years ago came into my work and I freaked out. I feel like I see him everywhere. My work has been incredibly kind and made a safety plan for me and everything. They are giving me time off to step away and still get paid. I just can’t tell anyone how bad it is. I just can’t handle the pain I’m feeling. I can’t leave my cat behind. And I feel so guilty for even thinking about it. I’m the only person this cat likes I’m literally his whole world, how can I take that away? I can’t. But I’m scared that wont matter at some point. I almost did it 1.5 years ago. But I woke up covered in my own vomit with a busted lip and back of my head in the bathroom floor. That scares me. I’m looking for help. I can’t keep going on like this. Im sorry