here comes the aftermath. i tried to end things but i got too scared once i was looking down at the water. i was just on the dock crying and it was so embarrassing sniffling and ppl passing by. i eventually started texting friends because i genuinely couldn’t tell between wanting to live or die. seeing that they care made it feel worse, like why did they only tell me to live now? now that i was almost closer to my goal? i took the train home and now IM in my room, i feel empty. like why am i here, i cleaned my room and everything in case i didnt make it back. but, maybe its now a sign to just actually try to get better instead of venting on here..like my college does free therapy so im planning to take that opportunity now. i hope all goes well for everyone else, this is my last post on here because it genuinely isn’t good to keep on posting like this!❤️