I feel like shit. I miss him. I miss having the option to just send him a random reel or text him a random thought. I want to talk to him to clear the air and move forward with our friendship in this new chapter we find ourselves in. But it's too soon still and I told myself I wouldn't contact him directly until his birthday which is in 3 days. It's barely been a little over a week since we last spoke and it was a heavy ass talk. The heaviest we've had and probably one of the heaviest I've had with a friend and someone I have feelings for. I hope he's ok but the toxic and fucked up part of me hopes he's feeling just as bad if not worse than me. He is the one that fucked up after all or at least he carries the biggest fault here. My main fault was letting myself get led on at my big ass age but like how could I not. I wasn't the only one who saw it. Everyone was telling me to just go for it cause it seemed like he was trying to get with me.