I just feel so tired of the loneliness that comes after finally taking a step back from that toxic friend group. Everything's adding up, my body insecurities, unhealthy sleeping habits, that stupid highschool exam that determines if I am a good student or not, and friends, or rather lack thereof. I wish I had someone I could text to without any specific reason, someone I could rant about my crush with, someone with whom I can improve and someone who doesn't see me as competition, but teamwork. My grades are slipping, so are my habits, and it's disappointing to be young and already out of your prime. I hate how prideful I am of skills I didn't even master yet, of how weak-willed I am. I wish I was like one of those instagram models who study 12 hours a day. I can't do that, that's how lazy I am. I also wish I gained my spark back, I wish I could joke freely with my parents, I wish I could laugh without covering my teeth, I wish I could joke the same way I used to.