i relapsed again. a month ago i promised myself i would live to my fullest potential, i would live freely, i would be honest, and i would get the help i needed. i ghosted my friends for a month during that time and after i got back in contact with them, they told me that they would be there when im struggling. they were scared i was going to die. yet, right now, it feels like everything is drifting, i feel like im losing a part of myself again, im losing my friends. i tried to get help from them but it feels like my own emotions are too much for them to handle. so for the past 2 weeks, i have no idea what to do. to plan my passing? to keep going? if im going to be alone again, i might as well end things alone