I feel like a ball of lard sometimes, like im a disguting wakling creature who disgusts anyone who looks at me. Whenever I get in a realtionship i feel like people are saying how disgusting we look as a couple and if u have a cuter significant other itll feel like im just lucky for getting them. everyone must be thinking how did that ugly, disgusting, ball of lard get them. lol gramarlly said this might sound dissaproving to others. sometimes i genunienly feel like i really couldnt care less and im so pretty and other days i feel like there is someone out to get me. these thoughts used to be worse which did get me arrested and in a mental hospital. worst experience ever. i felt so alone and more disgusted with myself and still thought all of them there must have hated the way i look, smell, walk or even breathe. or maybe taking the biggest shit of my life would help me feel clean. like to the point my guts are going to come out. skinned alive and put on a new coat. a clean one. maybe