I relapsed today after two years. I cut myself pretty bad. I don't feel good about it. Especially cause I did because I got my heartbroken pretty bad. I made so much progress these last couple of years. I have made amazing friends, my health is better, I quit my shitty job, I'm medicated well, my grades are awesome, I'm starting grad school this Fall. But on rejection from someone I've been in love with for nearly 10 years and it feels like nothing has changed at all. Suddenly I'm back in the hole and feel like nothing matters anymore. I know these feelings aren't forever but it's how I feel right now. Crazy to think that just 2 weeks ago I was in floating in the clouds and I felt like my life was finally going right. It's not just the rejection that hurts. It's the fact that the rejection stems from his own hurt and misery that he just can't seem to get help for. I want to help and be there for him but he won't let anyone in.