I hate my brain and my life. I keep failing and failing with something that i used to be good at. Now, it feels there’s a monster crawling inside of my body, make me feel that i’m no longer a human being that feels emotions and love. And the worst of all, i keep lying to people….I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY I KEEP LYING THAT I’M FINE, IM NOT FINE PLEASE SEEK HELP. everytime i lie, the guilt started to get to me, it gives me the urge to sh because thats the only way to punish myself….now idk who to seek help..my heart feels very empty and SHIT ITS PAINFUL, IT FEELS LIKE I COULD DIE BY THIS PAIN AT ANY TIME..