I actually have no clue how to reach out. I've been struggling mentally since 5th grade (I am a freshman now) and I've never truly vented to anyone. I've vauguely described some things that have been bothering me to my mom, but never to the extent that I should be. I've recently noticed that my state is getting worse. I think I've developed an ED. I eat at most twice a day and I am on three sports teams. My parents have commented on how much I've been eating, but haven't asked noticed its an ED. I have no clue how to ask for help. I thought about writing a note describing my mental state and asking for a therapist. I'm also pretty suicidal and I've collected pills in case I ever get to the point where I want to end it. I also don't know if I have the time since I spread myself thin with activities which I use to distract myself from things I struggle with. I also don't know if my parents have the money since they spend a lot on my and my brother's activities. I just want to be happy.