All Rants

Wow so tries to make point only to be sarcasmed away. Maybe slicing myself is a better option.

A Horsie guy sent me a request, i accepted him and then he just randomly disappeared. Wtf???

Why was she out with some other guy on that when you know it was my special day? Why didn’t she wish me? I was expecting a sweet present and she pretended I never existed. This is insane. I never felt this humiliated before. Can you imagine waiting the whole day, right up until 11:59PM, hoping foat least a voice note or a message but I received NOTHING. Absolutely NOTHING! This was different last year; She wasn’t like this before. Where did that sweet girl go? The one who adored me, admired me, showered me with her love and affection?? She wasn’t this cold. I know, I ruined everything. I should have never spoken bad about her behind her back and her behaviour shift to this cold hearted woman is completely valid. This feels like a never ending nightmare to me. I don’t think I can make it when she gets married to someone else. I’d rather kill myself than see her getting married to another guy. Yes, I have seen that guy. He’s way too handsome and taller than me. I could never be him

This has been the worse bday ever, all I’ve done is bawl my eyes out because of my mom. I told her abt me getting sexually abused and all she said was “mmhmm” and “okay and”. Like wtf you’re supposed to be my fucking mom. I’m actually so done w my life and I’m only 15, but what’s the fucking point to keep going -SS💋

I have this childhood memory that's been eating away at my brain lately. See, I moved to a new neighborhood when I was seven and obviously wanted to make new friends. I went to play with two neighborhood kids and got in a fight with the younger one when trying to redirect him from disobeying his mom. I lost my temper and screamed, then his mom took me home and banned me from playing with her kids again. Nobody listened to my side of the story. My mom refused to believe me when I told her that the other kid started the fight, not me. And a year later even said something about me throwing something at him (which I didn't) even though she wasn't there to see what happened. I still feel hurt that no one believed me.

HOLY FUCK I SHOULD DIE. IM A HORRIBLE FRIEND. - aj

Being myself means being a creepy degen that no one wanted, being someone that people wanted in their life never worked out. I hate how I was wired and born, just because I was one of those kinds of weirdos that even if someone liked me, i need kept away from ppl. ...it sucks when even nightmares dont want me.

I slept for goddamn four hours last night and I’m at sleepover right now. I’m VERY picky and strict about my sleeping surroundings so it’s really hard for me to fall asleep if there’s even one slightest, the smallest distraction. And I always struggle at sleepovers because it takes me extra time to fall asleep. I don’t like sleeping with people, it’s hard for me, but I always agree because I like spending time with my friends. But I fucking hate how they don’t understand my struggle. How, just HOW, can a person fall asleep with a phone in their hand with brightness AT MAX??? I CANT FALL ASLEEP, EVEN IF I COVER MY EYES, I KNOW THE LIGHT IS THERE AND IT’S DISTRACTING ME. CMON, I TOLD THEM TO PUT THEIR FUCKINF PHONE AWAY, BHT THIS ADDICTED BITCHASS MURMURS HALF ASLEEP “I’m watchjnf tiktok wtf” NO. YOU. ARE. SLEEPING. AND IVE BEEN WATCHING YOU SLEEP FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG NOW BECAUSE I DUNNO IF I SHOUDL TURN THAG FUCKING PHONE OFF OR NOT.

I feel like such a fatass every time I eat. Ive been skipping lunch and breakfast for the past like 5 days, but now Im eating again. - C.W

Well, well, well. To the well versed and educated traveler really earning their suitcase stickers and touristy pictures with the whitest, toothiest grin EVARSSSS, and getting people to go along with that and ignore fucking problems that when encountered can make your travels that much more worse than in the US as a citizen or dweller here, selling a goddamned fucking fantasy that it's SOOOO fucking safe and great there, or downplaying problems, guess what? France still has the riots. It spread into Belgium. Now, it has spread into Albania. Really setting the night on fire. Then, just France alone, if you wanna live there, it is around as expensive as California or New York, and debt rivalling the US. Again, maybe fucking look at the news before being sold a lie that can cost your life. Yeah, fuck my heritage. I ain't visiting Europe and UK in my lifetime with all the bullshit going on over there looking like an asylum case. SO culture loving, they're scared of foreigners.....

I keep telling myself to “hold my your own hand” and “pat your own back.” Because I have nobody in my life expect my mom, and yes my friends but it feels so much different from family love. I don’t like to rely on others, other people can feel hurt by me and I can get hurt by others, so I just don’t. I can’t rely much on my mom either since she’s mentally unwell and just not in my life because I live with my dad. So to stop myself from just ending it, I tell myself that I’m what will help me, that as long as I have myself I can try to stand tall, but I can’t help but doubt that. I want to cry to someone instead of alone in my room, where I can cry to someone without fearing that I might make them worried or scared, where I won’t feel so damn afraid that they would leave me if they didn’t see a perfect smile on my face as if I’m holding it all together with no problems at all. Please let me seek out someone’s comfort without feeling afraid! But I know that won’t happen, I’m too scared.

I’m so sad and depressed I don’t wanna be here anymore let me gooo I wanna be freeee

Everytime I talk to my mom it turns into an argument just fucking kill me🫩

I think I have undiagnosed bipolar and depression, my mom isn't making it any better. I'm scared. I want my daddy. I want to never see my mom again, I want her to act like she loves me instead of always being angry and yelling. She says she loves me, but I don't believe it. I know it sounds like I'm ungrateful, but I don't love her. I hate my body, I hate me, I hate my mom, I hate my friends, I have my brother, I hate the way I eat when upset, I hate the way I can never tell my mom anything, I hate that I'm so sensitive, I hate that I cry over little things. I want to end the relationship, it'll be better than this pain.

I’m so angry at myself. I love my family, but they are DEATHLY annoying - loud, frustrating, gross. Whenever they leave I feel so much happier, but before my family was annoying they were rude. My little sister was encouraged by my dad to call me rude, evil, ugly. My dad would always say how he wish I were never born or how if he was forced to have a kid, he would pray it wouldn’t be me. He’s nicer now, but I still remember those words so much. How I prayed everyday that he would change, but he never did…still I had hope til I just realized - he won’t change no matter how much I want him to. Now it’s just passed 2 years, I’m still a kid, but he did change somewhat. He doesn’t tell me to die or that I’m worthless, and he even gave me a milkshake today. He’s been nice today, but I can’t help but feel so frustrated, and I just keep remembering his old words of stuff like “You ruin everything in my life!”

Its kind of funny. In stories, friends are portrayed as being people who care for one another no matter what because they pay attention and will try to figure out how to help no matter what their friend tries to do to get them to leave, i mean maybe its a real thing for some people but probably not for me, ill try to be that friend but no one really cares about me enough to pay attention unless im not my “usual self” and making them laugh and stuff. Im exhausted

I wish i could get some rest so i can feel like i actually belong somewhere or feel safe somewhere. Ik it doesn’t have to be only partners but when i see people talking about their own partners or when i see them excited about something with a crush i just feel bitter, i know its selfish but i can’t help but feel jealous or just really uncomfortable. I feel like if i found someone i can trust then maybe i wouldn’t be so much of an overthinker or stressed anymore as long as i knew i had someone there for me. Idk, only felt safe once and when they started to drift away i panicked and now im just stressed around them too

In love w my best friend of a decade who gives me mixed signals and I'm not attracted to the guy who actually wants me I have a cavity in my back tooth I have less than 15 days to find another job before I'm essentially unemployed and I think something is wrong with my car. A lot of this is my fault and own cowardice but it SUCKS

holy fuck i hate my mom cause she has control over my internet and i cant do shit till 6pm and like it turns off at like 9pm. what the genuine fuck. - aj

someone told me I'm doing all this suicidal shit for attention. sure. like how I held a knife against my neck for attention, almost stabbed myself but instead cut my hair for attention, contacted 988 for attention. mhm. attention.