All Rants

I don’t know when it got to me being the Cinderella of my family. I’m just trying to do my own thing and keep to myself but my family can’t handle life on their own. They always want me to do things for them and throw fits when I say no. I should be able to say no because they are all capable of handling themselves and their wants. I can’t take it anymore. I just want to get my own place where I can do whatever the hell I want. I also want a man in my life, I’ve always loved romance but at this point I’m just trying to find some peace away from everybody. I couldn’t handle another person trying to dictate my life.

I’m not an angry person but my family makes me into an angry person. They act like I’m some villain when I’m the only one who does anything. Everyone else in my family does nothing and doesn’t really get told anything but I’m constantly berated. That’s what makes me angry. I’m actually fed up being told to do this and that and when I try to say that I need some time to my self I become some narcissistic villain in their eyes. My mom and I use to get along so well but I think the longer I live with her the more irritated we get with each other. My sisters are all lazy and don’t do anything for themselves and expect me to do stuff for them. I just want to be on my own and not have anyone nagging at me. I mean yeah I live with my mom and don’t pay rent but it’s one thing to just make me do everything. I have a life I need to live and I need time to actually find a good enough job that I can leave.

no one is ever going to care about me and get to know me as i do to other people

Just my freaken luck. Company iPad was put in my drawer and I forgot all about it and now, it’s missing. And my boss does not know about it. I M dead

my roommates are fucking door psychos god forbid i close the fucking door my room is IN THE FUCKING KITCHEN. GOD FORBID I WANT PRIVACY????? I WAS BUSY LOOKING FOR JOBS. MY BATHROOM IS IN THE FUCKING KITCHEN TOO LET ME HAVE ONE FUCKING THING

I thought my mom was my best friend but I’m starting to realize that she might just only like me for my usefulness. She’s told me in the past multiple times that she would disown me when I did something that she found upsetting when it wasn’t really at all but me just putting boundaries and trying to be myself. She gets like that a lot when I bring up or hint at not really wanting to do certain things for or go with what she wants. I’m literally an adult to, like I don’t even have to live with her, I just need to get a job before I can afford to leave. She’s moving to a new house and I don’t really want to go because she only really cares if I go to do everything for her. We even have to make a long drive to this new house and we drove already a few times there and back and it really pisses me off that she makes me drive almost the whole way and when I get tired and ask her to drive she’ll say she’s tried and can’t drive and then say do want me to fall asleep while driving.

I honestly cannot be around people who act like they can’t do shit for themselves. I’d love for someone to do everything for me but I’m not going out of my way to be rude and demand people do things for me. I’ll do it myself before I’d ask someone else. It’s different to when someone offers to help you but otherwise it’s your responsibility. If you physically are capable of doing something then you should do it. I’ve lived around too many who just expect me to do things for them and they get upset when I tell them no but I have no obligation to them.

I try to be a good person but sometimes I just get so fed up that my mouth gets ahead of me.

My mom gets mad at me for not wanting to help my autistic sister but my autistic sister is not nice. She acts like she is handicap when she’s not. She refuses to do anything at all for herself. She treats us horribly and is always yelling and complaining about something. She watches tv religiously and doesn’t sleep. She walks around the house at night and starts talking real loud while everyone is asleep just to wake us up. Yet my mom thinks I’m a villain when I get frustrated with her and I don’t want to help her. My mom doesn’t want her living with her anymore and doesn’t like her behavior but she basically enables it and also makes me and my other sister help our autistic sister with everything. My mom just doesn’t want to deal with her but puts her onto me and my other sister.

my entire family are christians. not even heavily religious or strict about it but lowkey whenever i see them they are always like we should be so grateful for gods whatever and that god has a plan and stuff. but i never believe in god and i don’t think i ever will. no hate to the ppl who are religious but i honestly think that god is a joke. like the more i think about the more i think that god is just some made up dude that ppl just like to believe is real. i’ll never tell my parents that tho bc they’ll probably just bring me to church more and make me pray during dinner and id rather focus on my food than some dude.

Been acting so dramatic. What if this ruins the friendship? I just want him to care. I want him to ask and worry about me. But I don't think he will. Can't he just double text me. I like him alot but ik he doesn't like me back like that. So why am I pushing it hoping that one day he will? I just want attention atp

deadass the only reason i haven’t killed myself is bc of my mom. i sometimes think about what would happen if i did and i think she might kill herself too. i’ve tried a few times, no one knows that tho. but i know they didn’t work bc i was too scared too. and also acetaminophen probably can’t kill u with just like 30 pills or smth idk. i dont think my friends would miss me bc i like never hang out with them. at some point i think they just stopped asking if i wanna go out bc i see posts of them out and i haven’t gotten invitations. i can’t help but feel left out tho even if i know i’ll just refuse anyway. and i feel like when i’m at home i literally do nothing except deadass touch myself like a fucking loser. i actually hate myself and i hate that i’m fat and horny and lowkey a creep all the time bc that’s like losing three times in a row. that was embarrassing to write but that’s okay bc maybe this will make me feel better.

Theater has always been a defining part of my personality. It was something that I was teased about by friends. And everyone knows I’m a theater kid. But recently, two people I know joined theater. Two people who teased me about loving theater. And it upsets me deeply because I feel like I’m losing an important part of my personality. Like something that was my “thing” is being taken from me. And I know I’m already unique and that’s not the problem. I feel like they’re stepping onto my turf. I’m not becoming “the anime kid” or the “sport kid”. So why are they suddenly taking over my area? Especially with the director liking them both better than me. It’s not fair. I’ve been here longer than them and I’ve loved theater longer so why are they the favorites? I feel so… crushed. I feel like I’m losing my mind. And I feel like I can’t explain it to them why it upsets me. I don’t want to be the bad guy. And I can’t tell anyone else for the same reason. I hate it so much.

The Filipino people deserve better. Long live the Filipino people, long live the Philippines. The Philippines is rich; it's just that the people in charge are stupid. But they're only in power because of the voters, right? VOTE WISELY IN 2028. YOU'VE SEEN THE SUFFERING OF EVERY FILIPINO WHEN IT COMES TO FLOODS, STORMS, AND EVEN A LITTLE RAIN. PRAYING FOR THOSE WHO ARE STILL SOAKED IN FLOODWATERS.

I want to pleasure people, like I want to have sex and touch people and compliment them and hold them and kiss them but I can’t. I’m so fucking insecure and scared of my own body that I can’t have anyone touching it or seeing it bare. Even with clothes on, if someone touches my legs or torso, I freak out on the inside. Tbh, I do sh, and I keep the times I cvt mys in my head and whenever someone touches that area, it reminds me of me cvtting mys…

I’m so mad OH MY FUCKING GOD. I’m literally sobbing bc I had a terrible day already like I embarrassed myself and was mad overstimulated in public🫩 then my parents had a huge argument and dragged me into it and I was so late anyway, my mom hasn’t been able to go grocery shopping since last month. This is an ingredient household now bruh. It doesn’t help I have an eating disorder(not body image related) and there’s NO food. There’s snacks here and there and finally I wanted to eat this bagel but my mom ate it. Damn. I was gonna make myself some frozen French fries since I found that and I didn’t eat at all today and I didn’t know they were open and they spilled all over the floor. I was so mad because now I’m gonna have to clean it up and my mom’s gonna yell at me for dropping it and wasting food and I’m still fucking hungry. That was the only slightly appetizing thing. Other options was fuckass mustard mayo jelly or strawberry syrup.

Tera haath dukhta nahi kya itna randi rona karta hai

August 31 2026: I've been trying to get better, but i cannot find a reason to stay anymore, I used to be the brightest light people knew but one day my light had burnt out, there was no reason behind it, well not that anyone remembered it. I tried to fix it but nothing can bring that same bright light back there's little sparks but yet, nothing that really brought it back, my parents haven't been quite helping with the problem if so they've been making it worse, i try too lose weight, Change my voice, change everything I've hated, but no matter what I've done and changed nothing is good enough for others, i hate how i look, i hate i act and sound, i hate everything about me, the more i look the more of the little things on me. Theres moments I'd lay in my room looking for reasons, but since then the reasons has dimmed down too none. I lived off distractions and Reasons. but there was once i time i lived without caring how others seen me, and how I didn't need reasons and distractions.

For some reason I get really anxious and scared and sad when my mom get sick or hurt bc if she dies I’m lowk an orphan and I’ll prob have to live my grandparents who prob hate me or my aunt who’s overprotective or my moms bf who I’m really awkward with even though we live in the same house. I think if she dies I’ll just kms. I plan on doing it this fall/winter anyways so like…

i genuinely want to disappear. this past week i've been feeling so useless and numb emotionally and mentally. i can feel that one of my closest friends is drifting away and i don't know what to do about it; it feels like we've run out of things to talk to, and she's just going with other people. and my self-esteem is even worse, i hate my appearance so much. i just want to cry out, but my body won't let me. and what's worse is that all this makes me just want more attention because i don't feel valid, and i hate feeling like an attention seeker, which obviously this is making me feel like one. i'm scared to live, but i'm scared to die. isn't there a way i can just disappear with no pain?