All Rants

I need diagnoses. Both physical and mental. I'm already on painkillers and antidepressants, and it feels like neither of those are working. I'm pretty sure I'm neurodivergent in some way. I'm harming myself because of this. Relapsed. Mostly because of the mental part. I need constant reassurance and although my friends value me very much and would listen to my woes, I don't want to burden them. Fml.

I mean... at least this new climate isn't making people want to fly away to other places as much? My family didn't start going on annual holidays abroad until the summers got so cold and rainy that we got fed up of no heat and sunshine that my mum picked up extra work so we could afford to escape the constant cold and damp and spend a week or so a year in Spain or Greece. My parents still go abroad every year for their anniversary, but most summers I stay in the UK now. I went to Mallorca over a year ago expecting it to be like it is here now, but I was shivering for most of it. Air con everywhere didn't help. It was still a nice break from life, I should have perhaps brought a thicker jacket. Today I will be sunbathing in weather that's hotter than anything I've experienced abroad and I only have to step into my own (okay fine my parents') back garden and it costs me nothing and produces 0 emissions apart from the odd fart. Not how it should be but it is what is today I guess.

My mental health and anxiety has worsened by the people around me. I have no one who can truly help me and even people's support isn't enough. I feel like I'm going to have a stressed induced heart attack at any moment. I struggle to sleep and its all hundreds of things have built up and I can't survive this any longer.

Long story short, I told my therapist I was in love with him. I was one of his first clients. I went through DV and she threatened to hurt him so I pressed charges. After I confessed my love he hired me on to the practice and shortly after they fired me for no reason. Due to me being fired I lost my apt, my car, my kids, my sobriety …he was never inappropriate but there was a lot of gas lighting. He accepted the thousands of gifts I gave him. I made sure he was included on my restraining order. I was extremely foolish and loyal for 3 years. I mentally couldn’t handle how I felt so I suffered a lot and was in mania for 3 years bc of it . I finally started telling the truth and no one believes me . I feel crazy and heart broken. He was the only person in my life to care about me . He’s always refused to let me go but now has and I’m alone

my girlfriend doesn’t talk to me like she used to. You used to be able to hear the smile in her voice when she said she loves me and now it’s just a word, I miss her. I miss it.

Do you know how much it fucking sucks to bike to the fucking driving range in the fucking rain, fall off and fuck up your clothes, and the range is fucking closed, the wankers. Fuck them.

love when i vent about someone upsetting me cos they were rude to me in a post and someone decides to leave me mean notes for literally no reason 💔

Im a teen in a small town, bi, poly and agender, all i do all day is sit on my fucking ass moping around and I feel like a goddammit waste of space, I dont talk to any of my irl friends anymore, Im pretty fucking sure my online friends hate me and im so fucking tired of everything- my dad is constantly yelling at me for shit I didnt do and barely gives a shit about my mental state, my mum works all day so she barely fucking notices and I feel like id be worth more if I just dissappeared

it's always hilarious when guys complain about bots or OF girls wanting to whore themselves out for money, but then they'll be the first to run when the photo of a beautiful woman shows up. And do they genuinely believe that those women want them? I don't get it. I get the attraction. I don't get the thought process of constantly getting scamming yourself like that.

Once again Lime has proven they only care for making money and like Qld police ignoring idiots riding illegally, dangerously and stupidity especially in Brisbane CBD like the following amongst hundreds of incidents, providing evidence E-scooters and ebikes are not a transport option 2.45pm 12/8 Teen with white T-shirt riding at speed on pedestrians only side of Victoria Bridge towards South Bank Qld Two males (drunk?) one dark skin with lime top and the other with red top with glasses sitting on milk crates rode on Pedestrians only side of Victoria Bridge towards the city at speed weaving in and out doing wheelies nearly running people over and swearing, both then rode back towards South Bank on Victoria Bridge at speed, weaving etc and next to the art gallery at speed doing wheelies running people over etc etc etc Others including several riding without helmets, speeding, not giving way etc like Male without helmet rode through the Cultural Centre Bus platform inbound

I’m so fucking stupid. So stupid. So fucking. I keep making my friend worry about me. The thing is I haven’t been myself for the past two weeks, I’ve honestly gone downhill. My own bf doesn’t even know. I’m struggling so much. It’s jst that I want to crawl into a hole and live there for ever and never come out. Sometimes I wish I was someone else. Who didn’t push people away, afraid of closeness. Afraid of everything. I wish I was normal. I wonder, how “normal” people do life everyday. I’m barely scraping by. My thoughts, my emotions. They consume me into I’m drowning. Sometimes I wish I wouldn’t let it but then I let it, everytime I think I’m getting better, I’m getting worse. Day by day, night by night, week by week, month by month, year by year. This isn’t new to me. I’ve been dealing with it since I was 14/15. In 17 now. It’s like it’s stuck with me forever. I fucking hate this. So much. I just wish I could be normal. Not feel like this anymore. I’m sorry everyone. I’m sorry. I’m.

I am so fed up about my desi old age mom forcing me to do all the fucking chores. My elder sisters who are married scolds me if I don't help my mom. They doesn't live with us but they themselves have their personal maid. Me and my old mom have to struggle every single month about money and they don't give us a cent every month. I cry everyday. I fail my exams so badly. Can't even pass math. But I have to clean everyday. I have to clean. They expect me to get gpa 5 in my 10th grade final. How? How Lord? Why do I have to suffer. The ppl they compare me to, doesn't need to do home chores which are time consuming. They study every hour. And I have to clean every hour. I wanted to buy cosmetics but my old mom gave this month's money to her son in law which she owes money for her lens surgery. I asked her to give in two the money back. We don't have food at home. I am hungry all the times so please mom don't give your loan towards him at once. She gave it all at once. I die.

why do i always think people are suicidal?? is that just me???

Ngl, im so scared of smelling bad..

im so fucking horny, why? its lust and bad, i feel bad im sinning but i cant stop it.

Last thing I'm saying, perspective is easy enough to shift but no amount of effort is ever going to lead to finding. Without outing myself, there's a few separate occassions where I gave up a lot of time to try and help in projects only to have fuck all people want me around. If anything it led to another case where i was just forgotten about. The only thing I've learned in what's probably half a lifetime is no-one gives a fuck unless you somehow convince people you're special and between dealing with elitist douchebags, pretentious self absorbed asshats and those types, all I have to show for it is a bubbling amount of hate that I'm getting more and more angered suppressing so if all I can do is scream out into a void (which that itself is becoming harder to do as I dont have money to buy myself a bunch of sheep to whine to like some people). I just want to vent where I can. Perspective can't fix facts and facts is I'm worthless. So the only thing I can do is wait for something...

The way your bio and your official twitter reeks of that dirty cvnt is insane.. THEN WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP APPROACHING ME YOU FUCKER? WHAT ARE YOU SO DEPRIVED OF YOU MONSTER NACHIKET

Who the actual fuck sympathises and yearns for a cvnt like her who does nothing but cause targeted harassment? Shamless piece of a cvnt and you want her? Ew

Am I the only one that feels really bad after being rude? Like leaving a rude comment on someones video just seems impossible for me even if I end up doing it I still feel SO guilty and idk if this is good or bad someone please tell me 😭 -LG

Choke on that spider bitch’s web and d!e