All Rants

im pissed with myself. i want to self harm like i used to, i want to do the shit things i used to do just to feel something. i hate depression. i hate wanting to go back onto snapchat just to sexualize myself and solicite myself. i hate wanting to self harm like i used to because i can only find comfort in myself. i hate being a girl. i hate being pretty. i hate that everyone says im pretty and that i have a models body. ive ruined myself so much in hope that others will find me unattractive but apparently it doesnt fucking matter as long as i have a pretty face ill still get preyed on older guys because thats all that they will ever fucking see of me. its not the scars on my arms or my legs or even my chest. its just my face, and even if my face is riddled with acne scars, ill still get looked at for my facial harmony. i hate being an attractive girl. i wish i wasnt. im fucking 16 and i keep getting ADULT MEN hitting on me, preying on me, but fuck. somebody kill me

i relapsed. i hate how i have no paib tolerance anymore like i used to. its not deep enough, i can barely scratch myself, its not enough to feel something. my body is too sensitive now, i have zero tolerance. i know whatever ive done to myself still means im suffering regardless and i dont have to compare my stress, but i hate it. i used to be much worse and i wish i could be like that now. i cant do anything. im fucking hopeless

I have done it. I have stayed off of pouring my heart and seeking emotional support from AI chatbots for weeks, maybe months. My appblock of any AI website on my phone proved to be successful. I also haven't touched character AI in many months. I'm so proud of myself for that. And yet, I feel so lost now and feel strongly about pouring my mind in a chatbot and ask it "How do I fix myself ?" For it to give me answers that would appease me. That would make me feel better about myself. I know it is a terrible idea; a chatbot will never give me the proper solutions to my life. It's stuff I have to painfully deal with, by myself or with the help of other human beings. I find myself thinking "oh but they don't really know how it is. How I feel." But would a chatbot even ? It would just tell me what I want to hear. I know how important it is to meet another soul, a sentient being that lights back on you, their sentience and yours. It is important despite how difficult it is. Ah, sucks.

moms abusive wtf do i do

bro i swear to god i am gonna die early. i am only 13. i have been smoking weed EVERY FUCKING DAY since i was 11. i keep trying to talk about it and vent but everybody is a sensitive fucking prick and hates on me for it or i get in trouble. discord aint the place to vent even if they say theyre safe. its not even 4pm and ive smoked 4 times today bro this shit isnt a joke. i'm dying early.

My momma told me not so long ago that if everyone seems to have a problem with you, then apparently YOU ARE the problem. How do I prove I'm not a problem when apparently I am

My grown daughters think it doesn't stab my heart when they call me a liar. My tears are uncalled for and stupid. What do I do? My oldest will be 34 next week and I, with my youngest daughter(18)live with her and her 4 kids, ages 11,9,7,&3.

I cannot hide my shame from myself. I can go through the motions and smile and laugh and lie but I know how I am. I know how I get. I know how I spend my days and I can never become oblivious to the ways I am killing myself slowly but surely. the shame is mine to carry no matter how I hide it. dead is dead and my flesh will rot the same as everyone else's.

hayy, now i understand why I am like this. I understand now, because of this household situation... everyone just gives the silent treatment, avoiding communication and being so avoidant everytime something happens. i'm so sick of this, I don't want to be like this anymore; I don't know where I fit in. I feel like everything I do is just wrong.

Bro, I don't know where I belong anymore. I asked for my opinion, and even when I gave it, I'm still wrong? Hahaha, I don't know anymore.

The girl that i used to like ghosted me, we planned a date to go ssee a movie last february 14. then she sent me a dm on feb 13 saying that she cant come to our planned date because she is "busy" with her exams etc. but after a week i saw her tiktok post that she is with someone. i was so mad,sad, and empty all at the same time. thinking why ? she was so excited a week before the 14th of february. then suddenly its that. i looked at the dude and i was like "really?" i mean im not that good looking or what but if you compare me to that dude; im much good looking than him. dont tell me that its not about the looks or something. i gave her every attention that i can give dude on christmas eve of 2025 i we were still talking thru fb messnger at 2am and i am typing half asleep given i have work the netx day. i even budget half of my pay cheque for her so she could feel she is important and taken care of. She got me feeling like im nothing.

He broke up with me

cvt myself with a glass shard last night, tempted to do it again. what do i do

sorry but what type family is that like i just dont get why u cant understabnd? were u raised that way ior sonething becausre i somhow just realized that you ghave big ass secrets u dont wanna fucking tell me and whart the fuck u couldve told me that sooner but u didnt and instead nmasdduko paka ong

Is it normal for my bf to probably go hangout w/ a girl bc she just got broken up with after 7 years. He said he feels bad for her. Its giving me a lot of anxiety n im crying after I saw he said that

I want to disappear so badly I’m a hypocrite I said I would be there for them but now i realize that my mental health is so limited I wish person b would have kept all this bullshit to herself, I wish I stayed secluded so badly, I want to loose my memories and start over, I need to talk to them but I’m so terrified UGH GODDAMN IT THEY FUCKING WARNED ME TOO, THEY WARNED ME THAT ENTERING A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM WOULD BE LIKE THIS GOD please let this work out ok

I feel so stupid for thinking this relationship would work. Now they are codependent with me, they won’t commit suicide thankfully but if the things that person B has told me are true I don’t know if I can continue this relationship with them, I promised them I would always be there but it went to far, I feel completely stupid for entering this relationship in the first place- if it were up to them they wouldn’t change a thing. But now I just want to be alone forever. I’m 20 years old I should have know better than this. I really need therapy or something. IM HUMAN god I’m not sure what they need, going to a mental institution would be a shitshow for them, but how far can I take my own well-being?? I’m so incredibly stuck. I’m 97% sure they are only still here because of me. I value communication so much but it won’t work this time, person B just got out of their situation I don’t know what to do

i don't think i'm in love anymore but i'm too scared to break it off

we broke up and I don’t know what to do because I really like her to the point that I will give everything just to prove that I really love her genuinely

so a while ago i had some male friends my bf didnt like and asked me to remove them and block, and as a good girlfriend i did it because i thought if it was with me i wouldnt like either, but now my bf is been following girls he doesnt know on insta, i told him that it makes me uncomfy (just like he told me) and he enter in full defensive mod. a few days ago he started to follow (again) is ex gf, that i told him multiple times i didnt like it because she is a bad person, the excuse he gave me last time it was because she as is best friend gf but now they are not bf gf anymore. he came up with that i dont trust him, but she tried to get with my friends gf (they were and still are dating), i said i didnt trust her. Later on he kinda told me (not directly) that he didnt like a post of me on a bikini (nor reveling nor a sexy pose), but he started to follow girls who do sexualize themselfs, i still didnt bring it up but what do i do.....