All Rants

I wanna find my person just like how everyone else has it seems like everyone else has their life together. I wish that was me.

My grandfather Other has dementia and it feels like he’s never gonna feel guilty or even remember the things he’s done to other people and me I wish he didn’t have dementia. I wish he could sit in his own guilt and filth. I truly wish that he would remember every single mean thing I said to him because he deserved it but no, he can’t remember. He can barely remember how to walk every single day. I reminded of the fact that revenge won’t ever come.

I hate myself for being such a spoiled brat. Whenever I want something, I get it usually. But if I don't I will cry. I hate myself so much. Other sperm cells during the race could've been much better than whatever the abomination I am. I'm the worst child you could have.

I'm so fucking tired I dont even know what to think anymore. I'm so tired of having to fight every day just to be at peace. Isn't that a fucking human right?!! I've spent the entirety of my childhood enduring abuse and neglect and now as an adult it hasn't fucking changed. My entire family is fucking psycho pieces of shit who have always favored my sister over me and in turn just fucking left me behind to rot. I'm 24 and I csnt fucking handle being alone but I am alone. No one fucking cares ans even if my friends knew the truth they would tell me its my own problem. Which it is..but it shouldn't have to be. Family is supposed to support each other and love one another not fucking go crazy and kill each other silently! I'm so fucking exhausted and I can't sleep because im scared my grandma going to do something but im not trying to be homeless.

this girl told me to kms, and that i was a bitch whore. 2 weeks later she posted on her story “never tell sm to kts, youll never know how far you push them” or something like that.

Love when their love just turns into ashes (I’ll be smearing their ashes on my face)

I have no motivation or energy to do anything. If I do something somehow it’s always not enough. I feel like I struggle a lot and can’t focus on anything for shit, I believe it might be caused by some kind of mental disorder, but whenever I tell my parents about my struggles they somehow end up brushing it off. I help around the house basically daily and yet I still hear that I’m not doing anything in house. In my friend group and in class I somehow ended up as one of the worst students which is crazy because I genuinely believe I have good grades (this year I had 4.78 score on 0-6 scale, 6 being the highest possible score). Im being called dumb often, which I don’t believe I really am, but hearing that over and over really makes me think weather its true. Im turning 18 soon and next year I want to go uni but I still dont know where I should go and what to do. Its alot of pressure and I am simply losing motivation to keep on going.

Idk how to start this so im just gonna roll with it. I need to talk to someone in order not to kill myself. My fiance gets upset or frustrated with me almost everyday and calls me a bad father, a bad partner and a bad person in general. I feel like she hates me. I am the only one working in the house, sometimes 16 hours a day to struggle to pay bills. My 2 year old daughter is my everything. But she wants nothing to do with me right now. She slaps and punches me, pushes me away, and generally doesnt want her around. Its not her fault but that doesnt mean it hurts any less. I only have friends at work, but I cant dump on them. I am detached when I get home which causes more stress with my relationships. I dont see my family as much as I see hers, and all I have to hear about is how depressed they all are and how im not doing enough for my fiance and my daughter, about how I need to do more. Im decaying from the inside out and its hard wearing a mask ive built up over 15 years.

Yelling, yelling and only yelling in my family every day....

Oh my god, I don't know where to let this out but I need to. I haven't been to therapy for almost 3 weeks and I am losing stability of my own emotions. I don't know whether it's the fact that I haven't been able to regulate my emotions without the need of therapy or my hormones acting up but I feel so emotional that I am just crying every minute or on the verge of tears. I don't know who to talk to. I overthink if I ever vent to someone who isn't my therapist. I don't know how do people even tolerate me. I don't know how could they not hate me. Why do they stay for someone like me who is so emotional and could just lash out at any second of any day. Why am I so pathetic, I can't even control my own emotions without having to rely on therapy. I've been so damaged by my past that I am so scared of confrontation or seeking help. I don't wanna be a burder to anyone, even if they love me dearly. I just want this to end.

i just spent 20 minutes writing a story just to realize how cringey it sounds.

Why am I so stupid? What is wrong with me?

I just wanna be a fucking adult already, i have NO privacy, im not allowed on ANYTHING except from roblox and minecraft, im fucking bored of my life and i just want to be alone for more then ten fucking minutes, i want to kill myself but my mum has control over EVERTHING she doesnt let me be alone for more then like 10-20 minutes, i do sh but i bruise myself so it isnt obvious, atp i wouldnt be suprised if she moves in next to me when im older, i wish my mum wasnt so overprotective

Im tired of always being the person everyone wants to hang around. I try my best to show them hint, that sometimes I get tired of listening to them talk to me and I'm tried of always trying to make things work. It's hard to choose between people okay? I can't always choose one person because then other people get angry, and if I try to at least say, let's all be a group, they don't want to work with the other person. I wish I was hated. Because at least then I wouldn't have to deal with all this stupid shit. I hate how easy I am to convince. I hate how fucking naive I am. I always end up getting hurt yet still always take them back. Fuck life.

I hope he just fucking gets injured by doing something stupid and then is maimed forever

UGGGHHHHHHHHHHH UGHHHHHHGGGHHH IM TIRED OF HAVING FEELINGS!!! TURN THEM OFFF, BROOO!!!

at first i liked the idea of someone being obsessed with me but uh now it's just ridiculous, if i don't answer because im busy they get pissed, if i don't say i love you or anything else typed out in full they get pissed, if i match their energy when their being dry they get pissed.. if i mention i have other friends they get jealous and for some reason when they get mad they 'joke' about hitting me? im so done with them omg, mind you we aren't even dating

i wish existing felt anywhere near good instead of like a gd chore

I hate that I've been thinking about you again recently. I miss the sweet boy in my memories, but I don't want to anymore. I know you aren't that person anymore and I want to just forget what you meant to me.

No matyer what community you are in, there is a huge group of complainers and whiners. The most notorious I've known is Genshin, which is something I wont complain about. Genshin is a game made by Mihoyo, who decides everything for the game. As long as the hame keeps going, I'd play it. Def? Ok, good for Linnea, Chiori, Kachina, Xilonen, Itto, and other Def scaling characters. No double crit? Thats okay, the peice can be used for Craftbox. Losing the 50/50? Atleast my Qiqi is now stronger for my Sandrone team. Or my Mona for Mono Hydro team. Tighnari? Hes good, not too good but not too bad. Mizuki? Stellar Swirl buff, so now she's my main dps! Jean? C6 100 healer ready for Varka. Keqing? Its ok, shes a placeholder for Flins, good lunar dps. Dehya? Good for Mono Pyro with 4 stars like Xiangling, Bennett, and Chev. Diluc? My old phys Dps before C6R5 Eula. Hes still pretty good. And all the standard weapons are good. I play the game for the fun of it, and if I get bored, I'm outside.