All Rants

tbh a lot's been on my mind rn. my parents are making it GLARINGLY obvious who they prefer to be around. my friends were going to hang out but they ended up cancelling at the last minute, my brother kept mocking me and giving me hell for that. i told him *calmly* to stop mocking me and what do i get in return? my dad started to scream at me. staying at home feels like hell, they don't want me going out with anyone so no escape there either. i know this sounds dumb but it really starts affecting you after a while. it's not my place to change anyone but they REALLY think ignoring my brother will give me peace. feel like smashing my damn head and ending it once and for all.

Okay, so. I have a guy friend (We'll call him Andy.) Him and I have been friends for two years, went to the same secondary school. He got into the same college as me but had to drop out due to money issues. We still talked a lot, phone calls while I was on my way home, sending reels and whatnot. But 2 or 3 weeks ago he sent me a reel about us making out. I felt uncomfortable and didn't respond well to it and haven't talked to him much since. There have been cases before where he's pulled weird pervy stuff on me, like card swiping my boobs (accidentally) and then complimenting them AFTER apologizing. He's also once stared straight at my chest and told me not to wear a top (that was only a little sheer.) My guy bsf of 8 years and I were talking about it, and he said he's also made comments about my body before when we all went drinking with other friends (comments were made while everyone was sober). I don't want to be friends with this guy anymore with how uncomfortable he makes me feel

I miss him so much it hurts. All he would do is hurt me and he was abusive but still, I love him so deeply. It's like a let go of my soulmate. A part my heart belongs to him and not being able to hug him and tell him I love him is so hard. He promised he would teach me to drive a forklift. He promised we would be able to live together when I turned 18. But that won't ever happen. I know I shouldn't but I can't help but love him.

I have severe mental health problems thatI have struggled with for as long as I can remember. I finally got into my dream relationship with my dream person and we are perfect for each other but almost 1 year ago, i, for the first time, almost gave into my intrusive thoughts. I was going through prescribed medication withdrawals + ideations as a side effect from a different one and I was going to end it all. I wanted to leave and make sure that the last impression anyone, especially my partner, had of me, was that I was an evil monster. I almost cheated. I stopped because it didn't feel right. I didn't contact anyone or arrange anything, but the thought crossed my mind. I felt sick. I still feel sick. I didn't even start the process but the fact I was so ready to leave that I considered turning my back on my morals and values, and hurting the person i care more about than anything else in this world, makes me ill to my stomach.

i feel overwhelmed by everything, yet i know its my fault for not being productive enough, i feel empty like all my energy is sucked out of me. i dont know what to do.

I'm so so so so so so so so so ugly no one has ever had a crush on me ever and I know it. I'm so fucking ugly my face is round my hair is always frizzy, my hair and eyes are boring brown, my eyelashes are practically non-existent, I don't know how to wear makeup, I don't own any pretty clothing, I'm so so quiet and reserved no one ever wants to talk to me and even if they did id make it weird because I'm so awkward and stupid. Having severe social anxiety, adhd, being a teen, and body dysmorphia is fucking ruining my life and I don't know how to explain this to anyone. I'm literally so scared to talk to anyone besides my own parents and my sister. Everyone else on earth I would panic if I had to talk to. Unless you have social anxiety you will likely never truly know how I feel. It's like I'm trapped. I so desperately want friends, confidence, beauty, but I have none of it and I want to just die. If I were to tell this to someone irl I'd feel like I'm fishing for complements though

I hate school I hate school I hate school I hate it so much I don't want to go to school anymore I want to die I want to disappear I don't care I just can't to to school anymore I have no friends and I'm terrified of trying anything new . All my school fucking cares about is getting me ready for college but I don't care about college I don't care about my future I don't want to be here. They make me work twice as hard as the average student so I can get two years of college done by the time I finish highschool. It sounds like a great deal except I'm a lazy and lonely and unmotivated person I don't care about my future or college or school or working or jobs it's too much for me I know I'm so lazy but I don't care anymore I just want to disappear and never go to school again but I have no choice. I have to go and I have to keep straight As and I have to go to college.

i just wish my mom would love me

I feel angry and I dont see why people feel so good about bullying over weighted people everyone is unique and special in their own way and i feel like a Budden when im around because im much bigger in size

Im really struggling recently with life and just don’t really see the point of anything anymore my moms and addiction has been for years now and my dad passed away just I’ve ten years ago I live with a close relative but I just don’t really feel like she gets me and I have boyfriend and friends but non of them get what I go through like last week my mom scent me a video of her injecting herself and wishing she never had me I told my relative she said delete it and ignore her but how can I block that out if my head and it’s got to a point where I think I’m might be to mentally fucked to live a normal life I have no drive for anything I had to quit the course I was doing because I have no passion for it driving isn’t going well because I have no passion I just feel like my life is a pathetic little story and I’m getting tired of feeling like this and to be honest I think sometimes might be better not to be here

I wish I could see him. I messed up. we went to a dance and I was convinced he was going to break up with me. so I ran. and cried. I hid like a child. He started overthinking. He said if he stopped faking his happiness he would get questions and be told he's annoying. I need to talk to him. but I'm scared to make it worse. Im scared to sit down with him and tell him why I ran. I'm scared to ask him if I'm the reason he wont open up, because what if I am? His friend yelled at him to kiss me and scared him. my best friend forced him to dance with me. Im the problem. Im failing as a partner and Im an idiot. but I'm in love. I love him and I cant lose him. Im obsessed. Im obsessed and I cant do anything about it. I need and crave communication but I messed up so so SO SO BAD. I'm crying. Im in so much pain I swear I might be dying inside. but he's still here. he didn't leave. he still said he loved me before he left. I cant give up. but HOW do I tell him that without breaking down?

I think I have repressed memories/trauma. It’s something I’ve been scared of for a while now but I’m starting to think I do. Ever since I was a kid I’ve always hung around people who had really bad experiences, like SA and abuse. I was always the therapist friend starting from when I was in first grade, I remember helping my friend who was abused and suicidal. This happened everywhere I moved to, I always had at least one person to help, usually more. But the thing was that I had to deal with their bad people in their lives a lot. I ended up developing a lot of mental health issues like an ed and stuff. But what scares me is that I used to have really bad panic attacks, I didn’t know why but I did. And now I’ve realized I get them less often but when I do get them there if I saw something about SA. If I even have an intrusive thought, it’s terrifying. I’m so damn scared that something actually happened because I react like it has, and it scares me because I know how that effects you.

My ex made "an honest mistake" by claiming our kid as a dependent in a year when he is not entitled to. This "mistake" is costing me $7,000. He keeps insisting that he's willing to make things right but all he's done so far is tone police me about being "angry and aggressive" and is mad that I called it theft (because the effect is exactly the same as theft... he gets money he's not entitled to, and I lose out). He also lied and said he talked to a tax person who said he should just file an amended return. My family is full of CPAs who told me not to file an amended return because the IRS is currently close to a shutdown, and that it would be far better to resolve this between the two of us. I asked for the phone number of his tax person. Turns out that he lied about having a tax person and it was a chatbot on a free tax website. I'm so sick of dealing with this fucking narcissist, and now we have to Go to mediation and resolve this, which of course he insists I pay for. So 😡

Went on Omegle with one of my pretty friends earlier today, and every single person either made fun of my face or asked if I was a guy. I have a condition I was born with which caused me to be blind in one eye, so my eyes are asymmetrical and I need to wear a prosthetic eye because of it. I usually try to hide my eye with my hair because the prosthetic makes me look like I have a lazy eye (no offence to those with a lazy eye, I've seen and been through the same pain u guys have and I'm just tired of it ☹️💔), and besides, my eyes are asymmetrical anyway. So I covered my eye with a silly wig I was wearing at the time. I always thought “If my eyes weren’t like this I’d be so pretty”. And so I hid my eye because why on earth would I wanna get made fun of? I'm not a masochist. Turns out I'm not as pretty as I thought I'd be. I'm currently bawling my eyes out on the bathroom floor.

I'm not a very social person. I mustered up the courage finally to speak my opinion online about something for once, then immediately remembered why I don't. Got some idiot troll discouraging me from participating, throwing around passive-aggression, misinformation, hatred, and whining in typical Reddit echo-chamber fashion. Maybe, it was a mistake to engage in Reddit, but it still feels bad to just not be able to say anything, without this kind of loser always trying to keep one down. It makes me mad nothing was done about him, either. It shouldn't bother me as much as it does, but it does, and I hate it. All I did was state an opinion and valid skepticism to vent on an issue in a game, and I get attacked for it. I'm tired of feeling so powerless, and like I'm the bad guy just for speaking. Thanks for listening...

I have this ex, and we are in the same friend groups and we broke up recently. My friend tells me that she says she wants to be friends again but she won't come up to me at all. I really miss her, as a friend and a partner. and I really wanna text her. I'm girl and the reason we broke up is because she didn't like me 🍃ing

I hate looking at myself in the mirror I hate my scars and cuts. I've been so anxious lately I'm not hungry anymore I just don't want to feel. I don't want to move honestly I say it's okay but no it's like when everything starts getting okay something else just has to happen. It's been 3 years when will I get better I feel like everyday has been the same I wish I was 5 again. I wish I didn't invalidate my feelings by saying someone else has it worse and I'm probably doing just fine compared to other people I'm tired of holding everything in and always acting like everyone's okay why does everyone else get to vent to me but God forbid I ask someone to listen God forbid someone checks up on me how I do them. When will I be able to find someone who will listen to me really? Anyways it's probably never unless I start healing from what ever is wrong with me since I don't like talking how I feel to real people anyways. But who ever read this to the end, thank you.

I honestly don't even know where to start I feel like I'm just doing the same thing everyday. I'm always so anxious about something. I hate self harming the scars cuts and burns make me sick to look at but it's the only thing that makes me feel better, nothing feels the same but I wish I could stop.

I'm just tired, everyday there's a new issue that I'm not let in on. Everytime he drinks or takes drugs there's a new lie or some BS he makes up or Carey's on with to make himself the victim. Everyday there's a comment , everyday there's a fkn problem even if there actually isn't. 3 years of this man cheating , sneaking around , lying , abusing , just fkn everything and even still ... Somehow ...some fkn how I'm always to blame. Ofc he denies it later , makes me out as insane or a liar. I don't know what to do , I'm just so tired

Hey you, how are you? You know I love you. I love you so so much. I hope you get everything in life. I wish you immense success. I hope you make it in life. One day, I'll be loved for who I am, not for how I make others feel I am extremely worried about the exams this month. I hope I make it in life. I pray I can be a good father to my kids. I pray I can provide for my wife and kids. I want nothing for myself, everything is for them. One day, you'll see me in live tv for everything I told you I'd achieve!