All Rants

I don't know who it is I see in the mirror. I don't feel alive. I'm a lonely person but I wasn't for a period of time but now I am again. I haven't been able to reach out to others since the day I was rejected by someone for wanting to be their friend. No matter how much effort I put into my schoolwork, my grades are still bad. People tutor me but I just can't focus. I feel like a idiot. People like to tell me that their friends likes me in a mocking way. I've had crushes(?) before but now everyone is just dull to me. People stare at me like I'm a weirdo. It's difficult to get up from my bed to go to school that I end up telling my mom I'm sick. It's gotten to a point where she no longer believes me and drags me out of bed and yells at my face that I'm not going to graduate and that I'm just lazy. If I keep stalling, she hits me. My cats, dog and younger sister are mainly the reason why I'm still alive. I don't want her to feel how I felt when our older sister attempted suicide.

God i just wanna be mounted in a wall and be filled to the brim with strangers cum, is that so wrong??? AaaAAA like i hate when you look up gloryholes its mostly that small hole in the wall for someone's dick!! And if its someone mounted in the wall, its either the same fucking videos or shitty as hell

being in a possible situationship (idk if they like me back but they lowkey acting like it) is ROUGH. like both of us are super shy so how tf are we supposed to tell each other? and I lowk don’t even know if they like me back and im so scared of rejection or messing our friendship up 😭

i feel lonely as shit. i just want someone to come over and comfort me, or just ask me if im okay. but no one ever does, and im too scared to just ask to vent to them because im embarrassed.

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What's a friendship or relationship that feels one-sided but you don't know how to fix it? One with my fam. They're only nice to me unless they want something from me. Once their need is gone of me we go back to hardly speaking and they're an ass yet they'll kiss their acquaintances asses and treat them like royalty. Why would you do that? On top of their getting drunk and being an aggressive mean drunk. It's all on them how they treat/ed me. I'm fairly numb to them now. So it's all their doings. Never have I received an apology for any of the awful things and ways they've treated me. So. Idk. That's leaving out alot of details about it because that's just the tip of the iceberg. I'm just answering the prompt. Anyway if they actually attempted apologizing then maybe it could begin repairing. But they won't. They're too embarrassed. Nobody in my family apologizes for anything hardly and I hate it . Nobody but me usually. I assume I'm mature one of the family.

My mom kicked me out August 2nd. She screamed at me over something stupid again, and I defended myself. She told me to leave, so I did. She made it so difficult. I tried so, so hard to be a good daughter, but she never let me. I left everything I loved behind and she’s using it against me. She won’t let me retrieve my things. She has been threatening to get rid of my pet cat ever since the day I left. She told me I’m selfish for leaving the people who love me most behind, but she sent me away. I can’t keep living like that. I can’t go back to it. It just hurts so bad. I loved my mom. I think she loved me, but she’s too mentally ill to let herself be gentle. She’s more worried about what others think of her than how I feel. And I’ll always have a hard time trying to swallow that.

my bsf is mad bec i called her clingy when she wouldn't let me talk to my other friend in the same fg. shes mad at her for some reason. of course im mad and pissed off at her a little so i ranted in my channel but i dint know she was following me so i let all my thoughts out. the next day she didnt talk to anyone in our fg. she just ignored us and acted rudely, bumping into us purposely and throwing papers at us, me specifically. all because i called her a little clingy. but that wasnt what i actually meant. i meant that shes always there and not letting me talk to my friend, whom ive known since i was 9 btw, and asking me to exculde her and shit. the next day she was like saying ' oh im not apologising i did nothing wrong u better apologise to me if u want things to go back to normal.' like bitch?? i dint curse u or anyth. im jus saying that i want to check on my friend. is that so wrong? then just now she told me to kms i wanted to reply im trying since ive been c/tting that day

So I downloaded bumble as I don’t go out often and also wanted an excuse to show off my cute outfits, find people with common interests, go on a nice date, and ngl was also bored. I matched with one guy and he seems nice and even made reservations for the weekend but now I’m thinking about it and thinking that I should’ve just not downloaded the app. I’m attracted to men but they always end up doing something that gives me the ick. And also I don’t like it when people touch me and it makes me very uncomfortable (especially due to past trauma as a kid). Maybe I’m just asexual? And should I cancel the date? And I also think sometimes that I prefer being a concept rather than actually being pursued because it may be nice in the beginning but it ends up being such a disappointment being with that person and massive headaches.

Coming to the realization that I am the issue because I just can’t grow up is what I feel right now. But even more so, I feel like I’m being babied way to much.

I know how I’ll do it. He leaves his food unattended all the time. It will only take a few leaves. Then I’ll only have one brother. I’ll wait for him to call for help. But there’s no antidote yet silly. Enjoy respiratory failure. He deserves it after making my tween years so fucking miserable after I already wanted to die.

Lowkey on the verge of tears for this but it’s late so maybe I’m being dramatic?? Idfk. I wish my partner were more romantic or even js texted me more often. I know they love me. That’s not the issue. Possible AuDHD is not great for responding quickly, remembering days, or showing emotions. I see the effort I do, but I just wish sometimes. I don’t wanna be alone. The thoughts are coming back and I’m scared of them. I don’t wanna go back to that place I was in but they get louder at night and trying to sleep makes them loudest because I have so little going on. I don’t want to be a burden I don’t want to procrastinate I don’t want to ANYTHING. I’m tired. I am. I have loving parents and a great older brother, my family is well off so that’s not an issue, so why do I feel like this.. I don’t want to feel like this

i don't do fucking anything ever. i don't have any friends, i don't have a job, i don't have a license, i don't have a life. i barely leave my house and it feels like every time i push myself to try and get out something awful happens to me. just in general every time i try to do anything for myself it goes wrong in some way. i only have one singular talent and i'm not even very good at it. not good enough to be able to go to college for it. i'd rather die than have to live like this any longer

What do i tell my mom whose narcissistic dad is dying? (Her parents never treated her well.) (If you are going to be toxic, fuck off.)

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IDF clearing their own soldiers of the murder of Zomi Frankcom, is evidence IDF is bias towards the truth and associated with the murder.

Married someone who doesn’t always treat me well. I don’t know how to feel about it. He can be very sweet, loving, and caring but over the years he started to display anger issues. I assume they come from his mother letting him disrespect her verbally for years and just get very angry so he also has no emotional regulation skills. You’d think someone would leave but I feel so alone and hard to get along with. I also do love him. Aside from him I don’t really have anyone. Im autistic it’s mild and my speaking difficulties cause most other people treat me like im severely disabled because they see something’s slightly different about me so they just assume I’m disabled enough to talk down to even though I’m just too nervous to actually talk correctly. If he were constantly bad I wouldn’t make this decision, and I feel he treats me like someone on his level. I really wish he would get help so things wouldn’t be so hard to endure but he doesn’t see anything wrong with his behavior.

I don't know why in Australia are keen to have Royal Commissions, when anyone with common sense knows Royal Commissions are waste of money, well take years and achieve little or nothing like Robodebt (Where no actions taken against Scott Morrison), anti-Semitism (Where those who are not Jewish are ignored), etc etc etc etc etc etc

just found out my now dead father who forced be to be a Christian was likely cheating on my mom!!! 😝 he also trapped her into an abusive relationship (she literally couldn’t get out, he would take out the car battery, cancel credit cards, etc) and abused me and my brothers (ik abt that obvi) plus he was a police officer! one of my most vivid memories of my dad was him screaming at me to punch my brother in the face (his hands were squeezing my brothers shoulders tight and my brother was ~8, I was ~7) and I told him no and he kept on yelling at me to do it and I yelled at him that I wouldn’t punch my brother. all of that over my brother spraying a tiny bit of water in my face and accidentally getting it in my eye. stockholm syndrome? anyways, I won’t say im sad he’s dead. sorry not sorry. burn in hell, Joshua L(I don’t wanna share my last name cuz his death was lowkey kinda on the news). fuck you. you were just like your scumbag father.

(G: Female {Bc it help make sense} )So I'm in this relationship, and I'm going to make clear that I'm not the type of person to share my lover. But I'm okay with others doing it. And lately the love of my life somewhat pressured me into doing a polygamy relationship with him loving me and my best friend. We're on trying mode rn to see if I like it (Which rn I don't). And I really just want it to be me and him and not her. Bc I hate the fact of sharing. I've had to much drama with other relationships in the past but now it just reopening the wound again. And in the beginning it caused me so much emotional stress to the point I was having panic attacks, I didn't want to stress either of them but right now. I just want to tell them that I don't like the fact of this whole polygamy relationship, I never have but I feel deep down that my bf. My gut is hating this whole thing. But my heart loves him. Am I a crappy gf for saying I don't want to do it?