All Rants

Feels like nobody gets it when I say we shouldn't draw nudes or NSFW of teenagers in anime. Pokémon trainers are usually 10 when they start out, and in middle school I accidentally discovered porn trying to find fanart and information on the games. Somehow I'm the fucking crazy person because I say that's fucked up, but everyone's like "it's just a drawing bro, get over it", like I don't want to get over it, I want to rip your fucking tongue out of your head so you never say something so fucking stupid ever again. Finding that awful fanart started a whole fucking chain reaction of testing what kind of porn I could find next and before I knew it, I was looking up lolicon art like it was normal, and I just acted like nothing was wrong until I graduated high school, now I feel like someone who managed to get off heroin and people say it's so easy to quit drugs or that heroin is your choice, it isn't bad. I basically traumatized myself for years and now everyone acts like it's okay.

Been addicted to porn since I was 13, my wife thinks I stopped when she found out years ago, but I will either feel sick if I try not to look at it when my brain gets that neural pathway going, or I will just absentmindedly look up memes and before I know it I'm 2 hours into trying to find a video I saw over a decade ago. It's too easy to find this stuff, and everyone is either so disgusted by it I can't tell them, or is so okay with it that it disgusts me. I don't want to be told it's normal, I want to not feel the urge to watch other people having sex while being unwilling to do it with my wife, and even if I thought it was okay for me, she has self-esteem issues and would think I want these other women instead of her. I'm sure I've collectively spent a year of my life just browsing for porn and I'm so sick of it. People tell me to pray about it, but it seems God either wants me to overcome it myself, or confess to my wife, but I can't do that to her, I'd rather die than hurt her.

i recently lost my dad to suicide in October 2025 and i just lost my mom about 10 days ago. i have a lot of things and a lot of memories with my mom and dad that i would love to just talk about but everyone is treating me like its forbidden to talk about my parents and like they have to guard over me. My dad was a really strong man and he did a lot of amazing things in his life , such as saving mine because in 2024 i tried to commit suicide because i felt like i didnt have anyone. He told me i always had him and my mom, i have neither now . ive been drinking and smoking every single day since my mom died . they said it couldve been broken heart syndrome that caused her sudden death , im just hoping i follow behind them soon.

Despite knowing I'm supportive of LGBT+ and trans people, my MIL keeps sending me dumb shit about people who think they're a deer or cat like that's the same (oddly, she likes the furry convention they have in her city, but not the pride parade). She also keeps sending this hideous AI videos with fake voices going on and on about how the giants and mermaids and all that secretly being demons, or talking about the Book of Enoch like its hidden knowledge while also saying the 7 books removed from the Bible were bad, and if I ever try to point out how much of it is bogus (I am Christian, read the whole Bible, I take it very seriously), she justs says she found it interesting and not to take it seriously. It's always "this habit of yours is satanic", "buying this product will put demons in your body", "the end of the world is tomorrow, Nostradamus predicted it". Whenever we visit she basically watches this shit for hours at a time on TikTok and I'm so fucking sick of it.

Generally my wife is a pretty level-headed person, I've known her almost 19 years and married half that, but when it comes to religion and politics, we're having trouble agreeing. She'll say she's in the middle and both parties are awful, but still tells me Trump isn't that bad (not full-on MAGA, thank God), likes Tom Macdonald's music, and believes a lot of the videos claiming drag queens are balls-out while reading to kids (which is odd because she was the one who had me watch Try Guys Try Drag). She has friends in the LGBT+ community and will be nice about it to their face, but she still says she doesn't support their lifestyle for religious reasons, whereas I believe someone can be gay and still saved, she seems iffy about it. She also gets mad when I say I support Sep. Church and State, because I don't think laws should be based on someone's twisted interpretation of Scripture, but she also doesn't like the Catholic Church because it has used it's authority to affect the world...

I'm not Catholic (Christian but unsure what kind), but I know the value the Roman Church has had on theology, retaining history and science even when the world was burning, and it's downside of occasionally becoming corrupt (what large group hasn't?), but a lot of my family, in-laws, and the general non-Catholic population seem so hellbent on being as non-Cath as possible that they can't seem to see that they're throwing away actual biblical beliefs. They don't want a pope because Rome had too much power, but they think America should be Christian and lead the world as such. Calling people saints is bad, but martyring Charlie Kirk is okay. Exorcisms are demonic ("a house divided", anyone?) but you can say "satan get out of my house" or "I rebuke this spirit to leave". "Priests molest children and the Boy Scouts of America were great when they didn't allow gays" (lots of kids got molested by the straight Scout Leaders if no one remembers). It's just frustrating seeing the hypocrisy.

It feels like almost everything I ever believed or was raised to think had been either a lie or turned upside down in the past couple years, and largely by fucking Trump. I was raised to love my country, but his rabid followers have made all patriotism look like the Jan 6 riots. I will continue to be Christian because I believe God is bigger than one country or any swindler using His Name to sell bullshit, but the fact I can't go on any social media page without someone either saying Trump (y'know the child-raping adulterer) is working for God, or the same tired-ass "you believe in sky daddy, idiot!" internet atheist horseshit that people go out of their way to be nasty (it'll be on a page that has no religious tone at all, why bring it up, jerk?), it's like I can't get away from the frustration of it. Is it so hard that if you don't have anything nice to say on a subject you don't understand, to just shut the fuck up? Everything is ragebait now and I hate it.

highschool and the IB destroyed my social life (junior). I just want to be happy right now without being lost from my more friends, its hard sustaining school and also having two jobs to cover my family expenses, as its almost poverty. I regret not fulling talking to this girl, in freshman summer, she was the most down-to-earth similar person ive ever met, she was the only girl i ever liked. i try to avoid thoughts about it as its long gone, but it reminds me that im not supposed to be in this situation, i feel like im watching my teenhood fly by with neglect of my social life, no dating or anything because of my situation. its lonely, and depressing, i feel like its too late because i only have senior year next year and i wasted core times i couldve been through for my development and social life and maturity, having connection is important as divorced arguing financially struggling parents is bad

fucking hell dude idek where to start im just so fucking tired and i can't seem to catch up no matter how hard i try. im not doing good enough for anyone not even myself and im such a failure. i am constantly at war with myself over my eating disorder and i dont ever have the energy to get everything done that i need to which makes me even more stressed out and that stress drains my energy too so its a never ending cycle where i cant win and i honestly just dont even think theres a point anymore why do i keep trying if all i do is fail?

I'm staying at my friends house for a week, and the place is disgusting. There's cat pee everywhere and she doesn't clean their litter box regularly so it smells really bad. She gets annoyed at me for the littlest things and said it was my fault that her cat peed on my iPad. I'm going to change their litter and clean up a bit, but it's genuinely disgusting and I think I'm going to go home early.

for context i've been struggling with an eating disorder for months now. I'm modeling for my friends fashion show, and I didn't eat all day so i could feel confident for it. but then my friend was measuring me and basically being omg ur waist is so tiny like whatever and i'm just scared because like the show is not until the beginning of june but i'm scared i'm gonna gain weight between that time. like my weight is always fluctuating and right now it's pretty low but i'm scared if i gain like 5 pounds between then like my friend is gonna judge and the clothes he fit for me won't fit. this is such a non issue but it's been in my mind all day and i just need to get it out. i'm so scared of gaining weight between the time of now and then

We had our call over discord last night. Well sort of, we were both on mute, cause your social battery was low and I felt too nervous to talk. But I had such a good time. Time flew and before I knew it, 4 hours had passed. I kind of didn't want to say goodnight, I wanted to keep hanging out and talking. But since we're supposed to call again tonight, I'm really excited to spend more time with you! I'm hoping you're excited too :)

Today, I was reminded that I was sexually assaulted by another child when I was 5 years old, and when my mother found out about it she basically said it was my fault.

I fought my whole life to be a lesbian, it's a core part of who I am. It has been since childhood. Even after coming out as nonbinary, I will always see myself as a lesbian I am engaged to this amazing woman. She makes me happier than I thought I could be. She's trans too, which is great to have someone to relate to The "problem" I have is that she doesn't present feminine, she's very clearly amab. I've had family members tell me they're happy I found the "right man" and friends call me a faker Everywhere we go now, when people see me, they think I'm in a straight relationships. I feel evil for venting about this. It shouldn't matter what anyone else says or does, to me she's the most beautiful woman on earth. I just wish she was more feminine

So we have a mutual friend in our friend group she’s a female and for some reason I’m really jealous or feel some type of way about her like she might find my boyfriend attractive am I just tripping?

Academic stress, parental pressure, school

Sometimes I feel like I just hate men, even though I don't think it's just because of their gender. i've had so much trauma, not personally, but like with other people in my family, who have gone through all of this emotional mess over men cheating or them getting into porn behind their back. And I just feel like no one stays loyal anymore, even my own dad. And I know that he's been watching porn. I have this guy who I'm talking to, but for some reason, I feel like I don't want to pursue a relationship because I don't want to be hurt. I don't want to love somone and then them just turn around and look at porn or something. I don't think I could handle it if that happened to me. And I've just been really depressed about it because I feel like the guy im talking to is the kind of person who would, but at the same time, I don't want to be like this. Like, I want to change. I want to like men.

I don’t want to feel alone anymore. Dying doesn’t even feel like it would help, only further the burden i already put on others. People think im okay because I’m high functioning but I just grit my fucking teeth and burn through everything I have to keep a smile on my face. It’s so hard. I don’t want to feel like this for the rest of my life. What happens when it gets too hard? I wish I could just give up control to someone else and let my mind finally have some peace.

I just read an article about possible food shortages in the UK. I hope that does not happen. Remembering many years ago there were a lot of semirural homes where people were allowed to keep a few chickens for fresh eggs and meat. I wonder if that may become popular again.

Two siblings and an in-law are the worst people I know on Earth and I really don't give a damn about any of them and besides, why do I want to talk to any of you? You're idiots, you're hasbeens and you three are nothing but a bunch of overgrown fudge packing pieces of monkey 💩 ever to walk on this green earth. All of you disgust me and I pray I don't ever want to hear from you again. Today you're not family to me for you three are complete strangers that I don't even know anymore. Farewell, take care and GO F*** YOURSELVES!!!