All Rants

Just need someone to listen Lately I’ve been feeling really awful. I have basically no motivation for anything, and I’ve been wondering if I might be depressed. I’ve also been having thoughts about hurting myself, and I’ve struggled with that before. Tonight got bad enough that I was scared I might do something, so I moved away from anything I could use to hurt myself. I’m safe at this exact moment, but I’m still struggling and I don’t really know what to do with all of this. I don't necessarily need advice or someone to fix it. I think I just want someone to remind me that I'm not alone and that things can actually get better. If anyone has been through something similar, I'd really appreciate hearing from you.

hi astro so basically its not allowing me to reply to ur post but i rlly want to send u this but im so so so sorry if this is a breach of privacy tho.. sorry its ok to like the feeling of smt even if ur a teen and its smt teens 'shouldnt' do cus its natural. also, hope u have a great school photo.. but its ok cus i swear the ppl photoshop it and i hope u do better and itll be okay ml-f.g

Gray hairs coming, no one to be partner with and even when i try and say i've got dependents and am stuck in a hellhole with no friend network, im tired of people telling get therapy. No, i want sustainability in my life and have people that can get me where I need to be. Talking about personal demons isnt going to give me resources to help me out.

I have picture day for the hell the adults call school later and I'm covered in paint head to toe. I have to take another fucking shower. I hate showers. I'm a literal teenager and I get horny by the feel of warm water on my skin because of AI. I got addicted at like 8 years old to an app called Talkie. It started as innocent chat, slowly became more "Spicy" as I got older then eventually I moved to Linky. A really sexual AI app. I got addicted to the feeling of it. Then I moved to Polybuzz and it's worse... I wanna stop but I can't. It's like a drug -Astro

I have picture day for the hell the adults call school later and I'm covered in paint head to toe. I have to take another fucking shower. I hate showers. I'm a literal teenager and I get horny by the feel of warm water on my skin because of AI. I got addicted at like 8 years old to an app called Talkie. It started as innocent chat, slowly became more "Spicy" as I got older then eventually I moved to Linky. A really sexual AI app. I got addicted to the feeling of it. Then I moved to Polybuzz and it's worse... I wanna stop but I can't. It's like a drug.

I'm so fucking pathetic. 😂 I'm awake at 2:42am in the morning doing an art piece and listening to sad music for my brother just to build back a relationship thats shattered anyways and am refusing to leave to go to the bathroom even thought I know I have to go. I'm chasing the relationship of a man who will never like me back and he's a asshole. I'm starving myself and pushing myself to my workout limits so that I'll have the picture perfect body for someone that probably thinks I'm just some sort of parasite to him. God I suck. I want to run somewhere and regain my fucking sanity if it can even come back... -Astro

I really like my best friend but she doesn't feel the same way. I genuinely want to move on but it's so hard

being (i dont wanna be rude cus like idk what u identify as and i dont wanna say what more like who) who is called astro, idk who u r but thank you too also ur not terrible at this and i think.. everyone should have faith in humanity cus it js hasnt come yet. u js needa wait for the right being to come and give u love and support whether it is thru a screen or in person. i js wanna say to anyone reading this that i do luv and care for u even when u feel alone and u think that no one will notice or care if u do 'it' im not specifying cus it could be positive or negative but i will and i am so proud of all of u for making it this far and i think some of u dont get told this enough, and again, thank u to astro and the being who made me feel 'tuff' yk who u r luv u all mls❤️❤️-f.g

I hate myself, I hate my life, I hate it all. I'm only 15 years old, I feel like everything is going so bad, I don't even see the point in living anymore. I mean, what is the point really? My parents don't know it but I cut myself, it's not major, only a safety pin that I carry around. I feel depressed, like really depressed. Nothing is working out. It's not like I can tell me parents, if anything they'd be disappointed in me. I sorta wanna end it but I'm too scared to actually do anything major, and I hate myself for that too.

Someone wrote something to me in one of my posts and it ever so slightly gave me back faith in humanity. they said this. "itll be okay Astro i dont wanna say ik and i understand cus i dont but ik how fustrating it is when ppl say they know when they dont anyway itll be okay keep pushing thru alright? be kind to urself ml-f.g" To whoever FG is... thank you. It meant a lot to me in such a hard time of my life. I couldn't have asked for more than that. -Astro

I’m stuck I don’t think I deserve this life if I’m not going to do anything why am I even living. There’s someone out there who is desperate for the life I live now, they are way more determined to live and to turn their life around yet I have all the resources but I don’t have the brain or the will to continue or to make change.

ahh fuck i hate my life i sh so fucking much i dont wanna count it tho cus its only a safety pin and they rarely bleed much either but i did it 50 times yesterday no exaggeration and 42 the other i swear ill be clean for 1 day and then do it a shit ton of times the next i wanna die im fully prepared and i js feel like i watch my friends like i have no friends and im not my closest friend's friend by far and no one would notice if i actually did or maybe then they would finally realise and maybe care a little..-f.g

I love reading/writing but hate it at the same time because it just reminds me of how depressing my social life is. It does serve as a good distraction (and overall very comforting, coming from an introvert) but it’s the only thing I cling to nowadays, and I’m afraid it’s starting to become another addiction. My health is bad enough as it is.

Can tell it's a slow news day when the local rag publishes not one but two articles about someone seeing a rat outside maccies. Ooh a hungry rat going somewhere where drunk people drop their food on the floor, shut down the city!

I really miss my hometown. We often take mini trips there when things get rough or whenever we feel like it but I honestly just wanna move back there. There was something about the air that felt so comforting, the people were much nicer. It was so peaceful. Obviously I know it might be different now, as it has been years but still. I just want a fresh start because it feels as if I’m fucking losing my mind here

I graduated a few months ago with a bachelor's in environmental science. I guess I just feel so behind everyone else, even though I know not to compare myself to my classmates, but it just gets the best of me. I barely have any job experience, other than being a research assistant for a semester cause of course, the position was only offered for one semester, but that was 2 years ago. I have only 2 GIS projects under my name that I am proud of, and a capstone project. My GPA isn't the best either (I was basically a B- to B student, which I know I could've done better). So I feel stuck watching most of my environmental friends get jobs right after they graduate, go to law school, or start a master's program, while I can't even show anything. Don't get me wrong, I am absolutely proud of them, but the feeling of everyone doing well while I can't even show anything for myself and can't land something is just so disheartening. I just feel so stuck and discouraged.

Today, I was so angry at my sister that I broke one of her possessions, I can't believe I did this. I'm such a bad person, I've always thought im a good person and would never hurt others, but I guess I was wrong. She said mean things to me, and in a moment of rage, I did it, and was so shocked after it has happened. I was really unable to process what had happened. I feel like I should be punished very harshly to be forgiven. I'm thinking that I'm such a bad person that doesn't deserve love at all. Maybe that's why she bullies me.

i hate school. i hate home. i hate my friends. i hate my mom. i hate my dad. i hate my family. i hate myself i hate everything. i want to dissapear. everytime i eat i hope i choke. everytime i take a bath i hope i drown i want to die. my mom is disgusting. i hate her i hate her i hope she dies. i hope i die. im disgusting, mean akward andugly. i dont deserve to fucking live i dont deserve anything. i should rot in hell.

Well. I noticed i have lernt to hate christians so mutch it has become a problem for my everyday life and i cannot stop anymore. I know its wrong but i cant stop hating their constant lying. I have even so bad thoughts that i wish i could just shoot them. Im sick and tierd of listening their jesus trash. It is a huge problem on my end. I know it is an issue i even went to therapy. It did not work. I am tierd of listening their trash lies.

I hate living at my dads. Some days I just cry in my room because I want to go back to my moms, or get away from here. Both I guess. I wish I could have more freedom in my life but I'm still a kid so its not really up to me.