All Rants

I just failed a major exam. My scholarship depends on that exam. My family won't be able to afford tuition without it. We will probably have to borrow some money to our relatives.... I feel bad for my mom. She deserves a better daughter. I am physically shaking earlier when I received the news, its probably the first time I failed this badly. I don't know how to tell my mom. I can't get a job since my mom doesn't want me to. I also know I won't be able to handle being a working student. I'm not good at anything too.... They won't probably even check my resume. I wish I was smart and rich.

I do all of this to myself and I still have the audacity to feel bad and upset about it. I ruin every single relationship and friendship because for some reason I can’t even respond to messages half of the time. And yet I still want close relationships. I know I don’t deserve it. I don’t know how I can want to be around people and isolate myself at the exact same time. I just feel like an awful person, it feels like I annoy the friends I do still have. And I don’t know why I broke up with him, I felt like I still loved him and I still feel like I do. I want him back but I can’t express those feelings because I know he doesn’t feel the same. I did this to myself and it’s torturing me not being able to talk to anyone about it. I complained about him all of the time, I acted like he was annoying and terrible but now I realize it was me. I was the problem the whole time, I’ve always been the problem. I don’t know why I’m like this, I feel so empty inside.

I dont wanna die. Sometimes i wish i was nevee born at all.

How dare you try to bully , silence and demean grieving parents who are trying to get answers about their SON unanswered murder. I hope u judges suffer worse than what they are sufferering how dare you question their motives and try to shame them for N family never back down i pray for your strength and let his killers come forward

Putang Ina! I feel like I have always been truly alone. I never felt like I was liked except for my Grade 4 teacher Ms. Aquilizan. My parents hate me, hate me being around. Like I repulse them with me just being there. They care about me and provide shelter and food and take care of me. Maybe they care about me or love me? But they don't like me. They hate me. They don't like hearing me talk or asking questions. So I just stop showing them that I am ever happy because I feel like deep inside they do not like seeing me happy and at peace.

I fucking hate being schizotypal

I'm just SO frustrated at myself. I don't know if I'm making up my problems anymore because they feel so small in a world where more people go through worse.

What is building up in me is that the nba is full of biracial and the full black men are sitting and actively assisting in this i hope im no longer here when the full black race in USA ceases to exist because of the great replacement

Just saw again tonight on tik tok 3 white women saying how much they love black men it was weird one looked high and her tongue was curling while salivating she had 10 reasons why but didnt name them very odd the 1st one was just smiling with dead eyes and the man behind her and the 3rd one was so desperate she was envisioning how the relationship was going to go while begging for attention sick behavior with these fetish lovers the end of normalcy in society

I hate everything and my family, my parents are horrible and I wish they truly never had kids including having me, for years me and my siblings have been treated horribly and nobody even knew. my dad is definitely a creep recently he had said ima grow up to be a hooker because I have a side bang because I genuinely hate everything about my appearance so I tried changing my hair a for myself and my dad just had to ruin it for me school is SHIT my parents force me to catch rides with a fake old friend of mine who I hate and has BAD communication like he literally doesn’t gaf he will leave me even if I’m early (he lives in my neighborhood I walk to his house) I just hate my shity ass fucking life I feel like such a burden to everyone and I’m a floater friend too amazing and I’m falling all my classes because stress, I wish CPS would get called on my parents one day so my siblings will be free of my parents bad energy and abuse

I keep thinking about ending it all. I wish my parents brought me here living a better life, but my everyday life feels so repetitive and it's and depressing. I try my hardest to make it better but how can I when I feel unmotivated and tired? I can't even seek help because I hate everyone around me. The worst part is even when I'm feeling like this, people around me are trying to drag me down in every little thing and it's pissing me off, I get irritated very quickly and my mood shifts drastically, and I'm scared I'll either hurt others or myself. I don't have money to seek professional help and I don't trust adults or the people around me, ik I'm very difficult but I want to stop feeling like this and actually live a better life.

I'm so easily triggered that someone can pass a dismissive "ok" and I'm filled with irrational anger. If I react, I'm seen as immature. I struggle to take rejection, I'd rather be oblivious to what's happening out there. Virtual realities increase my feeling of angst by the closeness that I feel, by the more language replicates and the shallower it becomes. I just want to be away from social media as much as possible, unless it's here, because I can't stand not having that connection through language. I'm lonely, and that angst that's allowed to grow without turning it into language or some sort of art just eats away the center in me.

I'm so terrified of becoming a lolcow with having been easily angered and diagnosed with autism that I've just downloaded an extension to hide YouTube notifcations for the off-chance that I comment. I hate being called out on shit I didn't do nor know about, I know my theory of mind is terrible because I mistake others for extensions of myself. I'm immature, I'm dumb, I have no talent and no prospects, I've heard it all before. I make 10x the mistakes of the average person.

Happu budday Happy budday Fairy themed birthday

Aight. I’m done for today 🫶🫡 It’s fairly season now bye byee Gift her lilles from my side too bawna ji knows what to gift

Pari Neeti budday happy buddayyy yayyy

I’d let him suck on them every day while I give him a good gorilla grip ride

I’m so sick of being told to restrict myself so other people will find me decent to be around while at the same time telling me that nobody entitled to bow down to my bullshit, like I’m the worst person in the world. It’s hypocritical, it’s selfish, it’s boneheaded, it’s nasty. They want me to respect others opinions and put my feelings aside, yet at the same time don’t even want to take the fucking effort to understand how I feel. Just either tell me you don’t want anything to do with me or shut the hell up. Even if you’re trying to be empathetic you’ve failed miserably because you just think the advice will automatically work because it’s uncomfortable. It’s tough love without the love and it’s the most insidious shit I’ve ever had the displeasure to see. And fuck other mentally ill people who use that shit as well. Empathy is a 2 way street people and everyone is required to show up for each other regardless mentally ill or not. Just please think about that.

I'm so weak that I can't even get an injection my mum is pissed at me for not getting it. I feel s ofucking weak. I just want to die.

I just feel really empty. For 4 years I’ve been consuming self help content for the hopes that it would finally help me fix my life. But every time I get online I’m instantly reminded that everything thinks of me as burden, someone who’s such a loser that they can’t even take care of themselves so everybody is criticizing me while at the same time telling me that whatever I’m suffering with is not any of their business, I can’t even talk to my family because this stuff is so personal and theirs no telling how they might react. I don’t care if it seems selfish it’s a legitimate fear of mine. So I just looks like I’m on my own for a while. At least people can’t tell me that I’m fucking up if I don’t bother them.