All Rants

I genuinely want to die. I feel like everyone is drifting away, what am I doing wrong? I keep getting ghosted, and my best friend seems to laugh more at random people than me. He has other friends, more important people to hangout with. I can't demand attention, I don't want to tell him I've been thinking about suicide and SH, I don't want to hurt him. I don't know if I'll make it to 21 anymore. I'm useless, I never help out around my house and I have no excuse. It just feels like everything would be better without me. I'll never be able to transition nor see my sister get married....I'm just so tired.

I wanna hurt someone so bad or make them hurt themselves. I want to cut someone's skin open or have them do it for me. I know it's bad. I'd never admit this to anyone, but it just makes me excited in a weird/sexy way. I want to be able to act this out, I don't want to be some freak in a mental institution. But im just holding these urges back all the time. I even did it to myself and sucked the blood out. But I want to do it to another living person. It's not enough. I'm restraining myself constantly. It's killing me not being able to explain it to anyone at all. I'd let someone kill me if they wanted to ever go that far, I want to feel the euphoria. I want someone to reciprocate. I want to know im not the only person who feels this way. I want to get out of this stupid fucking place and go do what I want. I'm tired of all these boring fucking insignificant humans. If this ever got out, they'd just wanna put me on drugs to shut me up. I need it so bad

I hate myself for being pretentious and insufferable to others. I make everything about myself, I'm so needy and whiny and false with how I posture to understand more than others, insecure about being less unique than them when I truly am. I find a way to make almost everyone dislike me, disgustingly. Or I'll take the opposite extreme, alienating everyone by being so kind that it's sickly sweet. I know I'm a hack, I don't claim to thoroughly understand anything at an academic level because I don't; I could never have that sort of skill, but my phobia toward being corrected leads me away from mentorship. I just don't have the energy to argue, I tell myself. I know I'm a pathetic coward, I can't create anything that's unique. I don't find anything to produce art for, just production. I wanted, I thought it was deeper but it probably isn't, to just reach some sort of waste away from utility. I only recently stopped falling for standard political pieces, but I'm still fake and lifeless.

Why can't I find love like that one relationship? Nothing the same. You always when I was sad, when I was off. Now every time I talk to my partner I get sexualized, I always want to go and talk to you but then I remember, I'm not your problem anymore. You cared so much for me like no one else did, you always found strength in me when I didn't. I loved you too little, everything was my fault. The end of our relationship was my fault. I find every little thing that describes you. When I hear your name my eyes grow. When someone asks "Did you date ___" my eyes grow apart, not knowing what to say. Then I remember "did", we are just the past right? But somehow I still can't move on. You promised to stay with me, but you left and my worst, it was the first day of the year. I had finally thought this would be my year, but maybe not. I know you forgive me, but I don't forgive myself. I hope you have the best relationship.

I miss her so much; my chest hurts so much because of it. I am not really sure if I miss her or just the experience. We just broke up, and I feel so lost after everything. It never occurred to me that this would hurt like this because of the thought that I know that this would happen, well, it really did, and now I don't know what to do. My heart feels like it's going to explode because of all the things that I feel and that I miss her so much. I don't know if I miss her or just the feeling of our relationship. I tried searching for answers, but it even made me more confused. Every time I look at my room, it feels so empty, no presence of her, not even the things that she gave me. I also don't want to tell them anymore because they think it's too much for them, and that they are annoyed for how I kept bringing her back every time we talk. It feels so heavy, my whole body aches with my heart .

everyone hates me. i need to escape. my therapist doesnt like me, and during PE today, i got targeted, being bullied for being gay, my counselor doesnt listen to me, everyone wishes me dead i dont deserve life i dont know whats going on feel like i deserve to die and just disappear forever, i have nobody to talk to, and my most favorite teacher blamed me for something i cant control and i hate her now i dont know why i cant trust people i dont know why everyone hates me what did i do i dont know i miss my friends but i feel like i have only 4 but i know i have more than that but idk im fat and i suck and im really tired of life

i feel like all my friends dont like me. my friend tiana, who im in a trio with, only reposts videos about our friend sierra, and never me.

My younger brother recently got into nationals for some invention thing, and he even has the potential for a scholarship if he wins. Although, he has to travel to Michigan to participate, and my parents couldnt agree less for him to go. I don't want to sound like a brat when I say this, but I'm jealous. For four years straight, I've recieved potential scholarship opportunities multiple times throughout my school years, and each of them offered a path on law or nursing. I've always wanted to be a nurse or a lawyer. I've been deemed the best of the debate team at my academy, and I've studied law & nursing for God knows how long. The only downside of the scholarship was that they required me to go out of state. My parents outright refused everytime. I get if it was because of money, but to accept my brother's travels over mine? My depression has only gotten worse & I think the world would be better off if I was dead. That way, all of these stupid feelings would dissappear along with me.

I wanna be someone worth it. I wanna be loved. I wanna be inlove. I wanna be... someone could cherish for.

I just feel incapable. I want to experience and meet people and see the world but I'm so afraid and I feel so behind. I wish I was more courageous and brave like other people.

ushhh ok so basically there's this girl and shes gay which would be great for me since I sortofkinda have a small crush on her thing is..I already have a bf which is awesome he's cute and kind to me but I just don't feel the love I should to him which is so weird because I wanted him to get back with me so badly but now I don't want him I want the girl but its wrong it feels so right tho?

Im not in a great point in my life right now and have already tried multiple times to kill myself, even though its hard to admit to people just typing it out is enough right now, I dont feel welcome in my own home and constantly get made fun of either online or in public environments, I also constantly feel like a burden and feel the need to isolate myself from others, my own family has said to my face before that they hate me and they did this after I told them I was depressed and suicidal

I'm a 8th grade math teacher, and I have a student who is Emotionally Distrubed. He has no parents, uses the N-word towards classmates, and B-word to the girls, and to me. He shouts. Shut the Fuck Up when I'm teaching. His group home will not agree to detentions or special ed teaching. his Court appointed Case work is often "unavailable" the Principal has left the school site and we have an acting Principal that just tells me, try giving him a job in class. The student has broken 3 chromebook and throws paper at class mates. the acting principal said the student could be moved but since its the end of the year, I can work with the student 18 more days. Im not sleeping at night and so dreading my otherwise fantastic students.

I'm so tired. My mom and aunt always argue, and even though I always keep on a smile, even as I'm writing this, I'll never forge the abuse I've suffered.

I genuinely think im stupid. Cause not only did i get told by my dad that i gained weight, my sister yelled at me because i cleaned a dish wrong. So here i am crying and trying not to have my family hear me cause my dad will iust brush it off as my hormones. His comments are literally degradation. And he thinks he can connect with jesus and shit. Idk if ill relapse but it sure does sound nice. I want peace for once in this house. No homophobic comments, no sexism, racism, and more from my dad. Cause my dad critics every friend i have. He told me A looked "too indian" and that E was a girl and not a boy. I genuinely cannot. I love my dad dearly but i cannot keep up with his bullshit of comments. Especially to my body, he loves pointing out the fact that i go back and fourth in weight classes. He also smacks my ass as a ioke and pokes me all the time. I know he thinks its funny but its a different thing with guys. Im born female btw..

pleaseplease dude fuck please i cant do this anymore i cant do this anymore im so tireed i want a break im so fucking tired i cant i cant do this i cant fucking live like this anymore im so sorry i cannt fucking do this nothing is helping anymore icant im sorry im so so fucking sorry im so soryri cant

I’m a dad and so upset with my 2 older kids. I’ve done so much, supported, and given my children do much. I’ve even given them space to be independent. Their priorities are f*cked up. One thinks that a full social calendar is stressful when she ought to be more concerned about post-grad employment. She ghosts her family and takes us for granted. She cares for us, but out of sight means out of mind to her. The other kid is a princess who is more concerned about looking pretty than cleaning up after herself or organizing her college search. Her mom wakes her daily, packs her breakfast and lunch - like WTF- make your own today!!!!! The icing is my tween just always rolls her eyes at me. I am pretty sure she hates me. I work a FT job that is high stress, definitely under appreciated, and starting to feel no joy from my kids. Sick and tired of being forgotten by them. Then, my wife and I…we went from having sex 1-2 a month to suddenly 4-5 a week. I’m really enjoying it - but wondering y

Janet Robinson villifies me i tried fix things with her i am waiting for her apologise i was gonna say somethin but i was confused by how nice she was i am not liar

Sergio raped me + spread rumores about me + poisoned me

leave me alone stop spreading rumores about stop trying sabotage love for me i did not use to be wooden i dont plan nothin but i sabotage myself