i feel like im a bad person deep inside. my dad or whatever is in jail in anoter state and like he was using drugs for 2-3 years and he'd do certain things like break into my house or tell me how he wanted to end it all when i was 11-13. a week or so before he got locked up, on new years eve at like 11:50 pm he called me and started sobbing about how he messed up as a father and he misses me and how he wants to end it all, and that he only uses because it makes him feel better. it hurts bc i have sorta been a bad kid. after we moved away i ignored his calls and he'd call me like 100 times a day being so serious and i only saw him once last year and even then i hated it but idk its so weird being with him. hes like happy and upneat and then randomly gets angry atme and screas at me fir no reason anf it sorta sucks. i think even if he did get sober and became good id still hate him, and i guess that that makes me feel sorta bad