Rant #7917

i dont take my own issues seriously and i hardly consider what i went through as a child as abuse, although others probably do. but i live everyday craving many things that are "bad" and feel so empty and worthless without. its embarassing how low my self worth is when i think being abused and being sick as something i want and crave. that stuff doesnt even make me feel good, it just means something. and i feel gross for wanting such things. i cant help it