I'm scared of losing myself and everyone around me. A lot of people around me are suicidal and unfortunately I don't know how to help them because I also struggle with it. When I was younger, maybe about 8 years old my brother who was 5 or 6 tried to kill himself by drowning himself in our bathroom. I was lucky enough to walk in on him and stop him but he told me the reason he wanted to was because everyone was calling him fat and my brother would just beat on him and abuse him mentally, physically, emotionally to a point it became too much. That's just an example of one interaction with someone I know who's suicidal. I have other siblings who are as well (actually most of my family is) and a lot of my friends are too. I feel like if I'm not gone now very soon someone in my life is gonna be gone because they couldn't handle their own life. I know they want me to get better but I can't tell them how I feel without feeling guilty bc they all have enough on their plate. Smh🙁