i'm scared she's gonna leave me or she's losing interest because i feel like she's avoiding me. i feel like she doesn't want to talk to me. i feel like i was too much. i feel like i annoyed her. i feel like i overwhelmed her. i feel like she's already lost interest. i'm currently feeling awful and sad and i don't know what do to

I am an absolute nuisance to everyone around me. If I dissappeared, nobody would care, why would they? I am annoying and forgetable. If I jumped out the window to my death, people will only come it my funeral to be polite, as they sit with the payed mourners they'll talk about how maybe its good I'm gone. Then they'll forget about me, like a childhood goldfish destined to get replaced. I am truly dispensible. I hate it.

I constantly feel like a hassle, Everything I do annoys someone. I don't mean to be annoying, I don't want to be annoying but I am literally just an awful and annoying person. I hate it, I hate myself. I wanted to write this out to maybe have someone say "ohh no its ok i bet your lovely" but I've seen this exact same mindset on the most toxic people ever. Am I just toxic?? Because if I am, I don't mean to be. I'm sorry if anyone is reading this, I'm sorry.