I genuinely do not know how I could've supported you out of pity for everything you had done to me mom, it's been two years already and even if I know you're still alive lurking somewhere I'm still fucking scared if you suddenly came back. The gnawing hypocrisy lying within you trying to protect me from others when you ended up abusing me? Touching me? Sexualizing me and near off trying to fucking sell me. I feel completely drained now. You've used me and I barely reached my twenties. Why am I not mad and sad enough for what you have done to me? Why do you disgust me so much? Why did you had to disguise yourself as the victim and make me feel bad? I feel dirty soo dirty. I can't stand to look at you anymore. Court day is soon and you'll yet try to play as the victim without even seeing what you have done. I'll never know what it will feel like to have a loving mother. My kids will probably never have a loving Grandma. You fucked up. "Mom."