I'm a trans ftm, autistic person with bpd. The dating life isn't so easy for me. I had been in the first relationship where I had felt wanted, loved for who I am, and it was healthy for me. No abuse, no yelling, or anything. I was safe. In my life I go through a lot of medical issues, in and out of hospital, and have to deal with a harsh family. My boyfriend of a year, is the light of my life. Literally.. I would do anything for him. Today he texted saying how being online was getting to him. That he would go off permanently. This meaning our relationship would come to an end. This breaks my heart.. hurts so bad I feel sad and hurt, and some other emotions I don't know the name of but I can feel them. He's my fp, so I'm so scared for him to go. He hasn't left yet, but he's bracing me for when and if he says it. Which is more likely than not.. I'm scared to be alone and I'm sad. I want him to stay but I won't force.. I've just been crying since those texts. I can't even sleep...