It's dumb, it's stupid as hell and maybe it's selfish but holy fuck I just want to be asked for once and not be left out. Our group of friends is great and I love everyone, but playing a game and sitting alone while the other four are in a separate group voice chat and don't even bother to invite me to join because they're chatting in another server just fucking sucks. It sucks and it isn't fun and it makes me feel super excluded. No one ever asks ME if I want to join, I'm always the one initiating, even when I bring it up, even when I politely ask, because I already feel like a fucking weirdo and left out and like I'm begging for attention. And this shit just makes it so much fucking worse. It feels like imposter syndrome and I feel disconnected as fuck. I'm so fucking upset and it's such a dumb thing but it just makes me want to rip all my fucking hair out. God I'm just so... I'd be happy even being someone's second choice because at least then I'd know I'd be being chosen.